In the Blink of an Eye
by Zaidie
Summary: Just another night at work and just another case. However, in the blink of an eye everything changes, turning Nick's world upsidedown. Nick & Catherine friendship. Please read and review. Completed at long last.
1. Familiar Face

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: Yes I know I am starting another fic while still in the middle of one... hopefully I can multi-task. I just had the sudden urge to start a Nick-centered piece. It has no real time place it has to fit into I don't think. No spoliers or anything. Just mainly Nick's life suddenly getting turned upside down. And a fair bit of Nick/Catherine friendship. Please read & review.

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The side alley, which was cordoned off with bright yellow police tape, was lit by the flashing lights of the squad car that was parked nearby. Ducking under the tape, the tall strawberry-blonde criminologist, made her way toward the female body which the coroner was crouched over part-ways down the alley. Her dark-haired colleague, Nick Stokes, followed behind her.

Detective Jim Brass was already there when the criminologist arrived, he was standing near the body and nodded to the two CSI's in greeting.

Catherine Willows greeted Brass back before approaching the body, "Hey David, what do we have?" Catherine asked, putting her kit down as she bent down next to the coroner.

"I took the liver temp, she's been dead less than two hours." David replied still examining the body before him. The woman appeared to be in her early thirties. Her sandy-blonde hair was cut short and in life would have framed her fair-skinned face. However, in death it was matted with the blood that had seeped from her gaping head wound. "She's got defensive wounds on her arms." David said pointing them out to Catherine. "Looks like she put up a fight."

Catherine nodded and began to scrape the underneath of the woman's fingernails in hopes that the woman had scratched her killer.

Standing behind his two kneeling colleagues Nick stared down at the lifeless figure with a strange sense of familiarity. Recognition came to Nick, when Brass produced her Californian issued driver's lisence from a clearly looted purse that he had found nearby, and read the name aloud, "Breanna Halton."

It actually surprised Nick he remembered her. It had to have been almost three years ago when he had met her. However, vivid images of the one night they had shared came back to the tall Texan as he looked down at her unmoving body. Forcing his face to remain impassive, he turned to exam the scene around them.

There was a fairly large pool of blood around her, it looked as though she had received a head wound and a stab wound to the chest area. Since the alley was only a short distance from a local night club Catherine wondered if perhaps that had been where she had come from. She made a mental note to check after they finished at the scene.

Noticing the younger CSI's unusual silence, Catherine cast a glance his way. He was moving away from the body and scanning over the crime scene. He seemed all right, but the subtle change in his usual cheery demeanor caused Catherine to wonder about her partner.

"I've got a knife." Nick called from where he had stopped at the end of the alley. It was a fixed bladed knife and the silvery steel blade was tainted with dark red blood. Flashing several pictures he carefully documented it, swabbing a sample of the blood he then bagged the knife itself. It was always more convenient when the killer left the murder weapon behind, Nick mused to himself.

Catherine had come over behind him to look at the knife. It definitely looked like the murder weapon. The whole scene looked to the CSI's like a mugging that had gone wrong. The victim was wearing no jewellery or watch and her purse had been empty of cash and credit cards.

Nick shook his head sadly. She had been such a nice young woman when he had met her. Now she was just another dead body in an alley in Vegas. He vaguely wondered if she had left behind a husband or any children. It would be a real shame if she had.

Once finished at the scene the two CSI's walked down the road toward the nearby club, while Brass started canvassing the houses and business along the street. Catherine showed her ID tag to the bartender and then asked him if he had seen Breanna. He looked at the picture and nodded. "She was in here about two hours ago I think. With a couple other woman. They all left at the same time I believe." He replied. "They looked like old friends, the way they were talking."

Catherine went on to ask him the standard questions. Was anyone interested in her, anyone follow her out, etcetera. The bartender was describing a man who left about the same time as the victim when Nick's mind began to wander.

_He finally had a night off, and pulling two double shifts that week had really taken a lot out of him. Nick Stokes had decided he needed to get his mind off the horrors he saw nightly at work. He walked into the club, heading straight to the bar. _

_He had not been there long before a woman around his age sat down beside him. She had short sandy-blonde hair and icy-blue eyes. She was dressed casually in jeans and a dark blouse. Nick could not remember who started the conversation, but it was not long before they were talking. She said she was a medical technician who worked in a nearby hospital. _

_Buying her a drink Nick moved the talk to non-work matters. After all, he had gone out trying to forget work for a night. When she invited him to spend the night with her, he definitely forgot the gruesomeness of his job for a while. Afterward he had called her, but she had never called him back. He did not really mind, he had liked her but the one night had been all he had expected anyway_.

"Nick are you okay?" Catherine's voice asked him drawing him out of the memory.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." He replied quickly realizing he must have spaced out on her. The bartender had finished telling Catherine all he knew and had moved off to serve some other customers.

"You sure?" She asked gently and when he nodded she decided not to press him further at the moment. Nick always opened up when he was ready. "Okay, let's get back to the lab then." She said leading the way out of the club. They had to process the knife they had found and check with Dr. Robbins to see if he had found anything on the body.

Nick nodded following Catherine out to the car. He considered telling her about his former relationship with the victim, but then decided it had no bearing now. It had been one night nearly three years ago. It was not like it would affect his work on the case.

Arriving back at the lab they dropped off a sample of the blood from the knife and the scrapings from her nails at DNA. Deciding to split up, Catherine headed off to the morgue to meet with Dr. Robbins, leaving Nick to fume the knife for prints.

Placing the knife in a clear plastic box Nick added the glue and waited as smoke filled the box, blocking the knife from view. Upon opening the case he waved the smoke away and glanced down at the now revealed partial prints on the handle of the weapon. Carefully he lifted each and headed off to get them run through the system looking for a match.

In the morgue Dr. Robbins ran through his findings for Catherine. "She bled out. Both the cut on her head and the wound on her chest look to be made from the same weapon."

"And the defensive wounds?" Catherine asked.

"Mostly likely also from the same weapon." Robbins added. He turned back to the body, "There is also some bruising, all fresh, so most likely from the attack. I checked, but there appears to be no signs of sexual assault." He said concluding his preliminary findings.

"Okay, thanks." Catherine said turning to leave.

"I'll let you know if I find anything else." Robbins said as Catherine nodded and headed off. She caught up with Nick in the hall outside the print lab. They filled each other in on their progress and together they headed to find Brass to see if he had turned anything up in his questioning of people around the scene, while they waited for the results to come back from the DNA and prints


	2. Brown Eyes

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: Special thanks for the reviews. I love getting feedback. We'll here is chapter two. Please read it and comment if you'd like.

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Looking out the window of the car, Nick watched the houses go by. He and Brass were on their way to the house of Mrs. Halton, the mother of Breanna. When Brass had said he was going to break the news to her, Nick had offered to come along. Although there was really no need for him to come, Brass had not seen anything wrong with it and now they were seated in Brass' car just about to turn onto the last street before the Halton's house.

Catherine had clearly wondered why he wanted to go, but as they had little to do until the results came back she had no qualms with him going. As it was, Nick himself, was unsure as to why he felt he needed to be there. He could not really explain it, he just felt he should be there when the news was broken to Breanna's family. He decided he just felt he owed it to her, even though he had only been with her once. The case just felt so different when it was not just another stranger on the table in the morgue.

Brass brought the car to a halt, by the curb, outside a small one-story house. The pale blue paint of the house was peeling slightly with age. The lawn was cut, but clearly not overly cared for, judging by the large brown patches. However, the small garden that grew on either side of the door appeared well tended.

Getting out of the car Nick followed Brass up the short cement walkway to the front door. Brass knocked firmly on the wooden door and they waited only a moment before the door was opened by a small woman who looked to be around sixty. Her grey hair was short and curly, and she wore a simple skirt and top.

Peeking out from behind her was a small child, who looked to be about two-years-old. He had wispy light brown hair and eerily familiar large chocolate brown eyes. Nick could see his mother in his fair skin although it was dotted with dark freckles. He was dressed in a bright red t-shirt and wore a pair of dark blue jeans which boasted a large hole in one knee.

"Mrs. Halton?" Brass asked showing her his badge, "I'm detective Brass from the Las Vegas police department, and this is Nick Stokes from the crime lab." He said introducing himself and Nick and then glancing at the small boy at her side he asked, "I was wondering if we might have a word?" The way he said it implied he wanted a word without the young child in hearing.

Mrs. Halton nodded and Nick could see the concern in her light blue eyes. She knew there must be something very wrong, but she was not sure what. "Hayden," She said turning to face the toddler. "Would you go play in the living room while Grama talks to these two men please?"

Hayden nodded silently before scampering off into the next room. With Hayden gone Mrs. Halton stood back and led the two law-enforcement officers into the kitchen. Through an open doorway Nick could see the small child seated on the carpeted floor of the sitting room playing with a plastic toy car

It sadden him to know that the small child had just lost his mother. He wondered if the boy was even old enough to understand about death. Probably not, he decided sadly.

"Mrs. Halton," Brass said slowly as she sat down at the kitchen table, "I'm sorry to have to tell you, but your daughter Breanna was killed last night." He said quietly.

"What?" She gasped bringing her hands to her mouth.

"I'm so sorry." Nick added sincerely from where he stood by the doorway.

"How?" She whispered faintly, tears welling in her eyes as the shocking news sank in. "How did she die?"

"We're still looking into it." Brass said gently. "It looks like she may have been attacked coming out of a club last night."

Mrs. Halton sniffed quietly, "She was only in town for a few days visiting me, but she went out with some of her old friends last night." She stammered quietly, "She used to live in Vegas," she added feeling the need to explain, "She moved to California about three years ago, when she got pregnant. She didn't want to raise her child in Vegas."

"Is Hayden's father around?" Nick asked, having noticed that Breanna still had her maiden name he assumed she was unmarried, however that did not necessarily mean that the father was not a part of Hayden's life.

"No," the distraught woman replied, "I don't even know who he is, Breanna would never tell me. I thought that maybe she didn't know, but she said once that she did." Then as she realized the reality of the situation she added, "Who is going to look after Hayden now?"

"If there is no father in the picture, I'm sure you would be allowed to have custody." Brass said trying to reassure the distressed woman.

Shaking her head she explained, "I don't know if I can take care of him. I have a heart condition and I spend a fair amount of time in and out of hospital." She starting crying now. "What am I going to do?"

Unsure what to say Nick looked to Brass, the older man knew more about talking to the victim's family. "I can have social services come and make an assessment." Brass stated and Mrs. Halton nodded helplessly. It was clear she did not want her grandson taken by social services, but she knew she could not care for him.

It was odd how much those simple words stung Nick. The thought of that sweet little toddler getting lost in the foster care system pained him unimaginably. He tried to tell himself it was because he had known the boy's mother, but at the back of his mind something else was bothering him.

"Can I see her?" Mrs. Halton asked suddenly jolting Nick from his thoughts. He turned his attention back the older woman seated at the table.

"If you really want to, we can arrange that." Brass said knowing how families often longed for a chance to say their final farewell to a loved one.

Mrs. Halton nodded, "I want to see her." She replied firmly. Brass nodded and was just about to give her the lab's address when she suddenly exclaimed, "Hayden, get that out of your mouth."

Nick glanced over to see the toddler had his plastic car in his mouth. "I'll get that." He said heading into the living room, without waiting for an answer.

Kneeling down in front of the small child he smiled, "Hi, Hayden. My name is Nick." Then eyeing a Kleenex box on the table he grabbed one and held it out toward the child. "You wanna spit that out buddy?" He asked gently.

The boy complied dropping the wet toy into the tissue held out before him. Nick quickly wiped off the spit and handed the bright red car back to the small child. "There you go, now you be a good boy." He said to the small child who remained shyly silent as he wordlessly accepted his toy back.

Getting up, Nick absently placed the Kleenex in his pocket before he returned to the kitchen where Brass was just finishing talking to Mrs. Halton. "I'm so sorry for your loss." Nick repeated as he and Brass headed for the door.

"Thank you." She whispered softly wiping away the tears on her face. _How was she supposed to tell Hayden his mother is dead? _She tried not to think about it as she watched the two men getting into their car to drive back to the lab. She looked down at the address Captain Brass had given her. Tomorrow she would go see her only child, and somehow say goodbye.

Nick watched the house disappear from view as they pulled off of the small street. He closed his eyes and the first image that came to his mind was off a certain small brown-headed toddler and his deep brown eyes


	3. Results

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: Special thanks to wraiths-angel for the only review last chapter.

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It was already after his shift when Nick entered the deserted locker room after arriving back at the lab. He suspected that his entire team had left by now, he wondered if Catherine had gotten any further on the case. He supposed he would have to catch up with the case next shift. It was not likely that all the results would have come in anyway.

Sitting down on the wooden bench facing his locker he tried mentally sort out everything that had happened on the past shift. He should have known it was going to be a weird shift the minute he recognized the victim. But now that he was back in the lab he could not stop thinking of how Hayden had been conceived three years ago. _Could he really have a son? _

He could not be Hayden's father, he tired to tell himself. They had used protection. And besides, why would Breanna not have told him if he was? He shook his head and stood up to open his locker. Putting away his kit he took his keys off the hook where he had hung them, and placed them into his jacket pocket. Feeling something else in his pocket he pulled it out. It was the tissue he had used to dry the plastic car when at the Halton's house. He had forgotten all about it. He closed his locker and went to toss the damp Kleenex into the garbage near the door.

However, just before he dropped the tissue a thought occurred to him and he turned back to his locker. Reaching into his kit he pulled out a plastic bag and dropped the white tissue into it. He then took a swab out of his kit and stared at it for a long moment before he popped into his mouth, swabbing the inside of cheek. Clipping the top over the swab and picking up the bag he locked his locker and headed out into the lab's hall.

Just outside the DNA lab he paused. He could not just ask the tech to run his DNA against the kid of a woman he had slept with. He shook his head as he turned and walked away from the lab. It was a stupid idea anyway. Hayden was not his kid.

Catching sight of his spiky-haired colleague ducking into the locker he headed back that way. If Greg ran the DNA for him... "Hey Greg." He said as nonchalantly as he could. "What are you still doing here?"

"Working late, as usual." The younger man replied. "I thought I saw Cath leave awhile ago, weren't you two working together?"

"Yeah," Nick admitted, "I went with Brass to talk to our vic's family."

Greg nodded and began to fiddle with his lock.

Taking a deep breath Nick forced himself to ask, telling himself he was just running the test to confirm what he already knew. It was just a peace-of-mind thing. "Do you think you could do me a favour?"

Turning around Greg eyed him suspiciously. "What kind of favour?" He asked.

"Errm, I was wondering if you could quickly run a DNA sample for me." He asked hopefully.

The young brown-blonde haired man sighed, "And you can't ask the day shift tech because?"

Shrugging Nick handed him the tissue and the swab, "I just need you to run them against each other," he said adding, " To see if they are related."

"Oh fine," Greg said accepting the two samples, "I suppose you want it right now too?' he asked pulling a face at the taller man. "You're just lucky I'm such a pro." Greg added before heading out of the locker room.

"Whatever." Nick muttered after his quirky friend. Heading over to the break room he poured himself a cup of coffee just for something to do while he waited. He stared down at the dark brown liquid in the cup telling himself again it was just a coincidence.

Greg poked his head into the DNA lab and flashed a smile at the day shift DNA technician. "I don't suppose you'd mind if I just quietly ran my sample over there?" He asked innocently, "I wouldn't bug you or anything."

Doubting it was seriously possible for Greg to do anything quietly she grinned but said he could anyway. It would save her from running it later. "Go ahead."

"Thanks." The ex-lab tech said sitting down at the far side of the room. It had been awhile since he ran a sample himself, but he had done it so many time he was quite certain he could do it in his sleep. Taking the tissue out of the bag he cut off a small sample. Doing the same with the tip of the swap he placed them both into test tubes where he mixed them with a solution.

Finishing the set up he placed each tube into the large machine. It took a while and Greg sat back to wait. On the bright side, Nick had not asked him to run it through CODIS, so it would take considerably less time.

- - - - - -

With the results printout in hand Greg thanked the lab technician once again before he headed out to locate Nick. It did not take him long as Nick walked out of the break room only seconds later, making Greg wonder if Nick had been sitting there watching the door the entire time he had been running the DNA. What was so important about these result baffled the young CSI. Shrugging he held the printout toward the Texan. "Thank me later, I'm leaving now." Greg muttered as he headed back to the locker room, desperate to get out of the building before someone else asked for a 'favour.'

"Thanks Greg." Nick called after his friends retreating figure. Taking a calming breath Nick looked down at the results on the page before him. He stood staring at the readout for some time. There were seven alleles in common. _Hayden was his son. _He re-read the results several times, but the fact remained, he was a father.

Numbly, he made his way back into the break room and slumped down into the nearest chair. The page still in his hand. Since he had first saw the boy he had been trying to convince himself it was not possible, but now that he held the proof in his hand he suddenly did not know what to think.

_Why would she have not told him?_ Did she not want him to have anything to do with her son, _their son?_ He ran his fingers through his short brown hair, what was he supposed to do now? He could not, would not, let his son be placed in foster care. But what did he know about the child? Or rasing a child for that matter. Hundreds of thoughts flooded his mind. What if he was a bad father, who would look after Hayden when he was at work, what if Hayden did not like him...

He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. It was all so overwhelming. He was not even sure how he was supposed to go about getting custody of Hayden. Everything had just happened so suddenly. His first thought was to go back and see Hayden, _see his son._ But he knew he could not do that.

The poor boy had just lost his mother. How could he expect to explain to him that he was his father and why he had never before come to see him. He vaguely wondered what Breanna had told her son to explain his father's absence.

He now wished he knew more about children. He tried to think of the last time he'd had a conservation that had lasted more than five minutes with anyone under the age of ten. None came to mind. Not surprisingly his thoughts went to Catherine. She was the only one on the team with a kid. He wondered how she managed to be a single parent and work nights.

Nick could not imagine not working the night shift with the rest of his team. But then again, a few hours ago he also could not have imagined him as a father. Frankly he still could not really see it. He briefly considered phoning Catherine, to talk, however he was quite certain she would already be sleeping. Something he should really consider heading home and doing.

Maybe after a few hours sleep things would make more sense, Nick thought wistfully. Carefully he folded the result sheet still in his lap he got up to head home. He wondered if he would even be able to sleep with all that was going on in his mind.

However, when he did get home and into bed he did manage to fall into a light sleep after only a short time. He awoke several times during the few hours he slept and every time he did he saw the lingering image of a small brown haired toddler.


	4. Distracted

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: Sorry for the delay in updates. I was away all weekend (without my computer) and I will be away all this weekend again. (this time I will take my computer though.) Hopefully I won't be so delayed this time. Anyway please read and review as always!

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The dark-haired Texan had arrived nearly an hour before his shift was due to start. He had spent a restless evening at home and he was still no closer to accepting the startling news. _He was a father._ Nick sighed and wandered towards DNA to see if the results had come back from the finger scrapings they had taken from the victim.

Entering the DNA lab Nick went straight to the night shift's results tray. His results were on top, and he scanned the file briefly. The DNA had been male but CODIS had turned nothing up. Disappointedly he replaced the file in the tray and left the lab.

It was unfortunate that no match had turned up, however Nick was optimistic that they had managed to collect as much evidence as they had. The whole scene had been sloppy. The knife had been left behind, complete with a print.

With that thought, Nick decided to head over to the print lab. Maybe they would have more luck off the print. However, before he made it to the lab he caught sight of Catherine arriving. He walked toward her.

Looking up, Catherine noticed her colleague approaching, "Hey Nick." She greeted him lightly.

"Hey," he replied. "Our DNA came back, nothing in CODIS. I was just about to check out the prints."

"Okay, I'll come with." Catherine said, and the two CSI's headed down the hall together. The shift was just turning over and both shift's print technicians were in the lab. Mandy, the night shift tech looked up as they entered.

"Hey guys, I was just about to come find you." She said cheerfully.

"You got a name for us?" Catherine asked curiously.

"Yup," She replied, turning the screen slightly so that both the field analysts could see the rap sheet she had opened. "Theodore Crane." She said.

"One prior for robbery," Catherine commented, reading the man's record. "Let's get Brass and pick him up." She said.

Nick nodded, glad that the print had panned out. It looked like they had a viable suspect. They thanked Mandy and headed out to search for Brass.

- - - - - -

Brass, Catherine and Nick stood on the door step of a run down looking house. Behind them two officers stood by a squad car in the drive way. The lawn was overgrown and cluttered with weeds. As well, the wooden steps they stood on groaned ominously underfoot. The paint was peeling off the door before them.

Before knocking, Brass gestured for the two waiting officers to head around to the back of the house. He then knocked loudly on the door. "Theodore Crane, LVPD. Open the door." He called upon receiving no response. After a moment they heard movement inside. Brass stepped back from the door, drew his side arm, and with a well placed kick forced open the door.

The three in the doorway momentarily caught sight of a figure disappearing out a back window. From the back of the house Nick could hear the two officers apprehending the man seconds later.

"We've got him." A voice crackling over Brass's radio informed them.

Brass cautiously moved into the house and carefully cleared each room, before heading out leaving the two CSI's to process the house.

Catherine started in the living room and Nick headed for the small bedroom off of the front entrance. The room was scarcely furnished, containing only a bed and a small dresser. Nick had just finished in the small grimy room when Catherine called him from the living room.

"Look at these Nick." His strawberry-blonde colleague said, holding out two credit cards she had found and bagged. Both clearly belonged to Breanna Halton.

Nick shook his head, "This guy covers his tracks so well." He said sarcastically. Catherine nodded her agreement. Together they finished examining the remaining rooms, but they turned up nothing more. Outside, Brass had loaded Crane into the squad car and the two officers were pulling out as Nick and Catherine emerged from the house.

Catherine held up the credit cards for Brass to see. "Looks like we've got him, then," Brass said before heading towards his own car. "I'll see you back at the lab."

Placing the evidence in the back of her car, Catherine got in and waited as Nick climbed into the passenger seat. He seemed unusually quiet on the drive back to the lab, and Catherine again wondered what was going on inside the tall Texan's mind.

Arriving at the lab, the two graveyard criminologists were headed toward interrogation to meet up with Brass when Grissom cut them off. "I need you two on a 419." He said without preamble.

"We're still closing up a case." Catherine protested mildly.

Grissom handed her the slip of paper he was holding, "Brass says you've already got your man. Besides, we're swamped, everyone else is on a case."

"All right, we're on it." Catherine consented accepting the slip. "Come on Nick, let's get this logged."

Nick said nothing but followed his co-worker to the evidence locker. He had been glad that they had found Breanna's killer so quickly, but his mind was also continually wandering. He wondered if he would be able to focus enough to work this new case properly.

He wished he could just put everything out of his mind and concentrate on work as he usually did, however this time was different. Everything was different now.

"You coming Nick?" Catherine's voice asked interrupting his thoughts. Looking up, Nick saw that she was standing in the doorway watching him curiously.

"Yeah." He replied quickly, trying to regain his composure before he followed her back out to the parking lot for the second time that night.

Catherine drove and Nick stared absently out the side window. The scene was not far and they arrived in just under fifteen minutes. Parking the car beside a police cruiser, the strawberry-blonde criminologist grabbed her kit from the back and ducked under the yellow police tape.

Nick followed her shortly. While Catherine headed directly to the body, Nick stepped back to examine the scene. The dead body was male, approximately twenty-five. He was laying face down on the hard black concrete of the deserted parking lot.

Walking closer to the body, Nick noticed a shell casing on the ground. Bending down, he placed a yellow marker beside it and photographed it. He then moved on to examine the remainder of the scene, allowing himself to slip into a semi automatic-pilot mode.

Not for the first time he wondered how Hayden was. The poor boy probably felt so alone and most likely did not really understand where his mother had gone. Nick could not even imagine what it must be like to go through that at such a young age. He had grown up in a large family, with both his parents always there. So it was hard for him to even understand what it was like for Hayden to not have a father in his life.

A short distance away, Catherine checked over the body with David before allowing him to move the body. After the body had been transported out to the waiting van, she joined Nick in checking out the perimeter.

Together they processed the taped off scene. Both had worked together enough that they only needed to exchange a few words during their work, however, Nick would usually add something to the conversation which he did not do tonight.

It bothered Catherine greatly to see her co-worker and friend this distracted. And yet she could not even guess at what it was that was bothering him. Not unless he gave her some sort of indication, which did not seem forthcoming anytime soon


	5. Out Loud

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: Thanks for the reviews last chapter. I hope you continue to read and review my work.

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Catherine walked out of the ballistics lab, where she had been dropping off the shell casing from the scene. She walked past the break room on her way to the morgue and noticed Nick standing by the coffee maker staring off into space. She stopped in the doorway and watched him for a moment. He had a troubled look on his usually jovial face and he did not notice her at the door.

She cleared her throat gently but Nick still seemed lost to the world. "Nick? I'm heading down to the morgue." She said calmly.

It took Nick a moment to realize someone had spoken to him. He looked up dazedly, seeing Catherine leaning against the door frame. "Hmmm?" He asked confused, having missed her question.

"I'm going to the morgue, are you coming?" She repeated.

"Oh, uh you go on without me." Nick muttered, embarrassed that Catherine had caught him so unfocussed.

Catherine nodded and turned to leave until Nick's tentative-sounding voice caused her to pause, "Hey Cath?"

She turned back to face her younger colleague, "Yeah?"

Nick shook his head, sinking down into a nearby chair, "How do you do it?" He blurted suddenly.

Catherine looked at him confused, "Do what?"

"Everything, work nights, be a single mom, be there for Linds..." Nick trailed off, staring down at the floor.

Stopping, Catherine walked back into the room. She was utterly baffled by Nick's strange question and had to think for a moment before finally answering, "It's not easy, and I have a lot of help. My mom stays with Lindsay at night." She said slowly then deciding to press the matter slightly she added, "Why?"

Nick shrugged, and was silent for a long moment. Catherine was wondering if he was not going to offer anything further when he looked up at her, "You know the girl from last night? Breanna?" When Catherine nodded he continued, "I knew her," He murmured.

At his admission Catherine looked surprised so Nick quickly added, "Not well. I met her about three years ago... and well we, uh, we had one night..."

"I'm sorry Nick." Catherine said, unsure what else she could say, as she found her voice.

Nick nodded slowly and taking a deep breath, said, "It's not just that though. She, uh, she has a son." He looked up at Catherine now forcing himself to say the words aloud for the first time since he had found out, "He's mine."

Startled, the motherly CSI looked at her co-worker. "Are you sure?" She said asking the first question that came to her mind.

Silently Nick withdrew a folded page from his pant pocket and handed it to Catherine. She glanced over the DNA results page quickly and glanced up at Nick questioningly. "I had Greg run it this morning," Nick admitted. "He doesn't know though."

She nodded and handed the sheet back to him as she sat down across from him. "Whose looking after him now?"

"Breanna's mother. But she's not well and Brass called social services to pay them a visit..."

"You're wanting custody then?" She asked quietly.

Nick nodded, "He just lost his mother, and this probably isn't the best way for him to find out about me, but I can't let slide through the cracks in the system."

The two CSI's sat in silence for some time. Everything had a new level of realism to it now that he had finally spoken it aloud. Finally Catherine asked, "What's his name?"

"Hayden." Nick said with a little smile. "He's the cutest little guy."

Catherine smiled, remembering how she had felt when she had seen Lindsay for the first time. It may have been difficult for Nick to accept at first, but she could see how much he would love the young boy if given the chance. "You'll make a great father." She assured trying to alleviate Nick's unspoken fear. Again they slipped into a thoughtful silence, until Catherine rose to her feet. "Well I'd better go see what Doc Robbins found for us."

- - - - - -

Catherine had finished in the morgue and run most of the case by herself. Nick had tried to help but she found him lost in thought several more times. She understood how difficult it must be for him, and didn't mind picking up the slack. She knew Nick would do the same if she was having personal problems.

Still, by the end of the shift the strawberry-blonde was quite tired. Finishing the night's work, she was walked down the hall into the reception area of the lab. All but one of the seats around the front desk were empty, the lone chair was occupied by her southern colleague.

"Hey, Nick." She said sitting down beside him. "You heading home?"

He shook his head, "Mrs. Halton is coming down to see her daughter," He said slowly, "I wanted to talk to her." He finished looking agitated.

"You want me to wait with you?"

Nick looked up, his brown eyes looked hopeful, "Would you?"

"Sure," Catherine replied, placing a hand gently on Nick's arm.

Nick fidgeted a lot while they waited. Millions of thoughts ran through his head. Most of them being the worst case scenarios. Still it was comforting to have his calm-minded friend beside him. At least with Catherine there he managed to fight the urge to just up and leave before she even arrived.

It was nearly an hour before the grieving mother did arrive. Her hand was clasped firmly over the small hand of the toddler at her side. Hayden looked around the lab curiously. He had no idea why they were there not knowing, like his grandmother did, that his mother would never be coming back.

Catherine gave Nick's arm a reassuring squeeze before standing up, "Mrs. Halton, my name is Catherine Willows. I work with the crime lab." Catherine began, "How about I watch Hayden for you?" She offered, knowing that it would be best if Nick spoke to her alone.

Mrs. Halton nodded, not wanting the young child to accompany her to the morgue. She disentangled her hand from the small boy's grip, "Hayden, why don't you go with Mrs. Willows?"

Hayden looked up at his grandmother with wide brown eyes, clearly not wanting to leave her, but with a reassuring nod from her he reluctantly followed Catherine part way down the hall leaving Nick and Mrs. Halton standing alone in the reception.

"Mrs. Halton." Nick said slowly, "My name is Nick Stokes, we met yesterday..." He paused while she nodded in recognition. "I was wondering if I could speak with you a moment."

She looked at Nick mildly confused before asking, "Did you find the man who..." She paused while her voice cracked noticeably, "Who did this?"

"Yes," Nick replied tentatively.

"Good." She said firmly.

"I wanted to talk to you about something else though." Nick started hesitantly, "About Hayden." Before Mrs. Halton could respond, Nick blurted out the rest. "Breanna and I, we met at a club and we had one night. And I didn't know until just the other day, but Hayden, he's... he's my son."

Mrs. Halton stood silently staring at Nick. She seemed slightly shocked, but not as much as Nick had expected. It took her a moment to finally speak, "I wouldn't have... I never thought," She shook her head amazed, "Social services is coming today, maybe you should be there..."

"I think that would be good," Nick agreed and Mrs. Halton gave him a time, before excusing herself to go and see her daughter's body.

After she had left the dark-haired criminologist stood alone in the reception area. It had been easier than he had expected, she had been surprised but at least she had believed him. He looked down the hall to where Catherine sat on a chair beside Hayden. His little boy.

He walked slowly toward them, he still did not know how to tell Hayden the truth but at least he could see the poor two-year-old now. Catherine looked up as he approached. "How did it go?" She asked curiously.

"Good," Nick said his gaze shifting onto the small silent toddler. "How's he?" he asked quietly.

Catherine shrugged, "He hasn't said anything." She replied.

The little boy stared sullenly at his shoe laces. He was confused by everything going on. He knew the two adults were talking about him, but he did not know why. He wanted his mother, but Grandma had said she had gone away to heaven. He did not think he liked heaven since Grandma had said that she could not come back.

The man sat down beside him now and Hayden shifted away a little. That man seemed nice enough but Mommy had told him not to talk to strangers. Even though this man was not exactly a stranger, as he had met him the day before, and Grandma had said he was like a police man, and you can trust police men.

"Hello, Hayden." The man said, he had a funny sounding voice, Hayden decided.

Hayden said nothing in response and the man looked slightly disappointed, but did not say anything further. Hayden did not like sitting here with the two adults. He just wanted to go home


	6. Watching out for Them

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: I do apologize, I am having difficulties finding time to write currently. I do appreciate those of you who wish to bear with me. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

- - - - - -

Nick rapped gently on the door before him. It was not answered immediately, and he fidgeted nervously on the cement front step. At last the door was opened and Mrs. Halton smiled tiredly up at him.

"Hello," Nick mumbled politely to the older woman, as she invited him in. He gazed around the small house but could see no sign of Hayden. There was also no sign of the social worker. At least he was not late.

"Social services should be here any time now." Mrs. Halton informed him leading the way into the living room. Hayden was not in here either, although several of his toys were on the carpeted floor. Mrs. Halton took a seat in a cushioned chair.

"Okay," Nick replied, not sure what else to say. He felt so out of place coming into Hayden's life part-way through. Mrs. Halton was his son's grandmother and he could barely find two words to say to her.

But she was not Hayden's only grandparents Nick realized. His own parents were also grandparents of his son. Only they did not even know he existed. He faintly remembered how happy his parents had been when they had found out about their other grandchildren, Nick's nieces and nephews. Somehow, he did not think his revealing Hayden would go over quite as well. Normally one did not suddenly have a two-year old grandson, belonging to your unmarried child.

He sighed quietly, it did not help to worry about things like that. He had enough on his mind, being thrust suddenly into fatherhood. He did not need to add to his worries. Mrs. Halton was watching him silently and Nick felt even more out of place.

Fortunately, for Nick, the door bell chose that moment to chime, saving him momentarily from his discomfort. Mrs. Halton got up and hurried back to the front entrance, leaving Nick alone in the sitting room.

"Mrs. Halton? I'm Connie Bracken, from social services." Nick heard a melodious female voice say from the other room.

"Come in." Came the older woman's response. Nick moved into the doorway and could now see the young social worker. Her curly shoulder-length brown hair bounced gently as she walked into the front room. She was dressed professionally, and in her left hand she held a small brown brief case.

She had a genuine-looking smile on her face which relieved Nick slightly. It seemed like she actually cared about her work, and should Hayden be required to spend a few nights in the foster system's care, Nick felt better knowing the woman assigned to his case would actually care about his little boy.

As she noticed Nick watching her from the doorway her smile faltered slightly, as her unmarred brow wrinkled in confusion. It was clear she had not been expecting another person to be present.

Mrs. Halton, proving to be quite perceptive, noticed her questioning look, "This is Nick Stokes," She introduced, "He's Hayden's father."

"I understood that Hayden's father was unknown," Connie replied.

"Mr. Stokes just approached me today." Mrs. Halton explained.

"Oh, I see." Connie replied looking back at Nick intently as though she was sizing him up. Turning back to Mrs. Halton she asked, "Where is Hayden?"

"He is in the spare bedroom playing."

Connie nodded, "Well, lets go check in on him then shall we?" She said indicating for Mrs. Halton to lead the way, "Then we can all sit down and try to sort this out."

Mrs. Halton lead Connie down the hall and into a bedroom. Nick followed them, hanging back a little, staying just outside the bedroom, while the two women went in. Connie bent down, introducing her self to the toddler playing on the floor. She talked quietly to him for a few moments before getting back to her feet.

"We can talk in the living room." Mrs. Halton said backing out of the small room.

Leaving Hayden to his play, the three adults made their way back to the living room. Once they were all seated Connie opened a file and placed it on the coffee table.

She looked up at Nick now, her brilliant green eyes meeting with his brown ones. "Are you applying for custody of Hayden, then?"

"Er, yes," Nick replied, "Though I'm not exactly sure how to go about doing that..." He added as an afterthought.

"And you don't have any problems with this?" She asked Mrs. Halton who shook her head.

"Okay then." She said, "Mr. Stokes, we're going to need to do a test to determine that you are in fact Hayden's father." Connie explained, Nick did not bother to say he already had the results to that test, as he knew they would want to do it themselves anyway.

"Sure."

She looked through the brief case she had brought in with her. "I don't actually have any swabs, you and Hayden will have to come in to our main offices...

"I have some in my car if you would like." Nick offered.

Connie looked up at him skeptically.

"I'm a criminologist." Nick offered by way of explanation.

"Oh." Connie replied. "Well then, we'll get those just before I go. Before that, I do have some questions for you."

"Okay." Nick replied slowly.

Connie pulled out a clip board with a chart on it. "Are you married?"

"No."

"Any other children?"

"No."

"You already said you're a criminologist," she commented making a mark on the chart. "How many hours do you work a day?"

The questions went on for a while and Nick answered them all hoping that she could not tell how nervous he was. He knew he had no experience raising a kid, but he hoped she would at least give him the chance. He hoped he would be a good father to Hayden.

"All right, I think that's about everything." Connie said closing the clipboard. "After we get the results back on the paternity test, I will need to do a walk through of your home, and then we can proceed from there."

Nick nodded, "Thank you." He said getting up.

"It is going to take a few days for everything to get sorted out, in the meantime, are you able to continue to provide care for Hayden?" Connie said now addressing Mrs. Halton.

"I can look after him for a few more days." Mrs. Halton said genuinely happy that her grandson did not have to go into foster care.

Nick and Connie headed outside to Nick's car, where he handed her a swab. He took a second one and swabbed the inside of his cheek before giving her that one as well.

"I'll give you a call as soon as the results are in." Connie promised, turning back to the house to collect a DNA sample from Hayden.

- - - - - -

Nick sat alone in his living room. He had hardly slept since his last shift, between meeting with the social worker and not being able to stop thinking about Hayden. He considered asking Grissom for the shift off, but he decided not to, as work might at least keep him from worrying about everything for a little while.

It was strange how his mind worked, Nick decided, as he suddenly realized that he kept cleaners under his kitchen sink. With a toddler around he should move those higher. He felt so unprepared. He was sure he was going to do something unbelievably stupid, like leaving something dangerous around and Hayden would get hurt.

Nick got to work methodically rearranging his kitchen, bathroom and most of his apartment trying to 'toddler proof' it. After nearly two hours of checking and double checking that he had moved all his cleaners and toxins he returned to the couch. Still he felt as though he was still missing something.

Unable to shake the feeling he called the only person who he could think to ask.

"Hello?" A young female voice answered the phone.

"Hi Lindsay," Nick said, "It's Nick Stokes, is your mother around?" He asked.

"Yeah," Lindsay said before yelling, "Hey mom! Phone for you."

Soon Catherine's voice replaced her daughter's. "Hello?"

"Hey," Nick replied, "Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help me out."

"Sure, what's up?"

"Besides cleaners and stuff, what should I move up higher so Hayden won't hurt himself?" Nick asked.

"Uh, anything breakable." Catherine said thinking, "and you might want to make sure that the things you do move higher aren't hanging over the edges of the shelves incase he manages to pull them down on top of himself."

"Okay."

"And if you don't have a lock box for your spare gun, get one." Catherine advised.

As soon as she said 'gun' Nick's gaze shifted over the low cupboard where he kept his gun. Not only did he not have a lock box, he hadn't even remembered to move it.

"Right," He mumbled absently. He thanked Catherine and hung up, sinking down onto his sofa._ What kind of father would he make if he could not even remember to move his gun out of a toddler's reach?_


	7. Fatherhood

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: I know I have not been updating regualrly, but I going to try to get a least one update a week, because lately I don't seem to be able to get chapters done much faster than that. I hope you will bear with me and continue to read and review this story.

- - - - - -

The next two days passed painfully slowly for the new father. The call had come, at last from social services, confirming the results that he already knew. Now all that was left was for Connie Bracken to arrive and decide if Nick's living arrangements were suitable for a child. He had never been so nervous in his life.

As he completed his umpteenth circle around his living room, the door bell rang. Forcing himself to take a slow deep breath, Nick opened the door for the dark-haired young woman who waited on the other side. In her hand she held a clipboard.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Stokes." She greeted stepping inside his home. "Shall we get started, then?"

"All right, uh, where would you like to see first?" Nick queried as he closed the door behind her.

Connie suggested the kitchen, from there they moved from room to room around his house. As they went she asked him questions about where he kept certain things. As the reached the spare room, which Nick had emptied out in preparation to turn it into his son's bedroom, she asked about any guns. Relieved that he had called Catherine, Nick was able to show her the secured lock box which now encased his spare gun.

With their tour of the house complete, they stopped in the living room where Connie looked over the notes she had made during the visit. "Well it seems like everything is in order, I just have one last question."

"Yes?" Nick asked.

"You work nights, how are you planning to continue to do this as a single parent?"

This question had been plaguing Nick endlessly since he had found out about his son. He could not imagine not working nights with the team he practically considered his family. He carefully considered his answer, "I'm planning on taking an extended leave to help Hayden settle in, after that I will have to find a part time nanny or request a transfer to days." Nick replied. He had still not talked to Grissom about the leave he was hoping for, he had wanted to wait until everything was finalized. In fact, Catherine was still the only one on the team who even knew about his son.

Connie nodded in approval, "All right. Some one will follow up with you and Hayden in about a months time. In the meantime, good luck with fatherhood Mr. Stokes. Mrs. Halton will be expecting you sometime today." With that she turned to leave, only stopping to add, "Hayden has been through a lot and may have difficulty coping with the changes. If you have any concerns, social services can put you in contact with a child therapist."

"Thank you." Nick replied. He knew he should not expect Hayden to make the transition to living with a stranger easily, but he still hoped.

- - - - - -

For the third time in the short time span, Nick found himself standing on the door step of Mrs. Halton's home. The kind-faced older woman opened the door, "Hello." She greeted.

"Hello," Nick returned, stepping in as she moved back.

"Hayden's just in the living room." She said and then gesturing to two small bags near the door, "These are all of his things, the car seat's just on the porch. Most of his stuff is still back at his house in California though. I was planning on going up there this weekend, after..." She trailed off but Nick had a feeling he had known what she was going to say.

"When is Breanna's funeral?" He asked.

"It's this Thursday. Are you going to bring Hayden?" She asked.

"I think he should be there." Nick replied quietly, hoping that Mrs. Halton would not disagree with him.

She said nothing for a moment but then she slowly nodded, "Yes, your right. I'll get you the information for it."

While they had been talking Hayden had gotten up from where he sat in front of a small televison set and had come to stand in the door way of the living room. His grandmother turned and saw him standing there watching Nick uncertainly.

"Hayden, remember what I told you earlier?" She asked bending down to be at eye level with the small child. "About your dad coming to take you to go live with him?" The boy remained silent and Mrs. Halton continued, "Well this is your father," she said indicating Nick.

"Hi Hayden." Nick said uncertainly. He could not imagine what the small child must be feeling at the moment.

"He's a little shy sometimes." Mrs. Halton explained. "Why don't we load these into the car?" She suggested.

Nick picked up the car seat and Mrs. Halton followed him, carrying the two small bags. Hayden followed them to the edge of the porch and sat down on the top step and watched them pack Nick's car. While she showed Nick how to install the car seat, Mrs. Halton gave Nick a quick run down on some basics about Hayden. Nick listened trying to remember everything she was telling him. Thankfully, she informed him that Hayden had no known allergies. Knowing that made him feel a lot better.

Soon everything was packed in the car and the three stood in the doorway. Mrs. Halton was about to kiss her grandson when she thought of something and disappeared into a bedroom. She returned carrying a framed photo. "Here," She said handing the picture to Nick, "I want Hayden to have this, to remember his mother by." The picture showed Breanna smiling happily up at the camera.

Nick accepted the picture, and turned to face his son. "I know this is probably scary for you." He said quietly, "It's kinda scary for me too. But I promise I'll try my best. And we can come back and visit your grandmother any time, okay?" He said looking at the strikingly similar brown eyes that looked back at him.

Still Hayden said nothing, he did not really understand what was going on. Whenever he had asked Mommy, she had always told him not to worry that he didn't have a father because the two of them was all they needed. But now she was gone. And Grandma was telling him that the man with the funny voice was his father.

He just wanted his mother to come back. Now his grandmother was asking if he was ready to go. Of course he was not. He did not want to go any where. But the way she looked at him like she wanted him to say yes, made him bob his small head up and down gently.

She smiled, and walked them out toward the car. He could see that his car seat was in the back. Nick, that was the man's name, opened the door and held out a hand to help him in. Hesitantly he accepted his hand and got into th back of the car. Grandma waved at him as Nick shut the door. Hayden waved back. He missed his mom, but he had always wanted a Daddy. Maybe everything would not be horrible, maybe his new dad would play sports with him and stuff, like the boy who had lived next door.

- - - - - -

For the first little while Hayden had looked like he would burst into tears any minute as the drove away from Mrs. Halton's house. The pained lonely look on his son's face nearly broke Nick's heart. He tried to start a conversation but only got mumbled responses or silence for an answer.

As they drove Nick spotted an ice-cream store, slowing down he turned into the parking lot. "Do you like ice cream?" He asked.

Hayden nodded.

"What flavour is your favourite?" Nick coaxed gently.

"Chocolate." Hayden answered shyly.

"Do you want a chocolate ice cream cone?" Nick offered and at the boy's quick nod he got out of the car, coming around he side oped the side door to let Hayden out. Together they walked into the store and Nick ordered a small ice cream cone for Hayden and one for himself. They moved to a small table and sat down across from each other. Hayden licking silently at his ice cream.

Nick studied the child in front of him, noticing many subtle similarities between them that he had not noticed before.

"Why you not come before?" Hayden muttered suddenly.

The question startled Nick, he had no idea what Breanna had told Hayden to explain his lack of a father, and he did not know exactly what to say in response. Finally he decided on the truth. "I didn't know. I wish I had, I would have come then." He said hoping that Hayden could trust him in this.

Hayden fell silent again turning his focuses onto his ice cream. They finished their frozen treat in silence. After which they headed back to Nick's home.

"This is going to be your room." Nick explained, showing Hayden the spare bedroom which currently only contained a blow up mattress. "We'll get you a bed soon." He promised.

Nick left Hayden to unpack his toys, thinking it might be good for the boy to have some alone time to start to adjust to the new location. In the meantime he started to mentally make a list of the things that he would need to buy for Hayden.

A hour or so later he peeked in on his son who had busied himself playing with small toy cars. Hayden looked up at Nick. "Hi." He said quietly.

"Hi." Nick replied with a gentle smile. "Do you mind coming for a car ride with me?" Nick asked, it was still quite awhile before the grave-yard shift was set to start but if he knew Grissom at all, his boss would likely be there.

"Okay," came the small reply


	8. Firsts

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: Thanks for the reviews.

- - - - - -

Pulling his car to a halt in the lab parking lot, Nick got out to help his son out of the car. It struck him as odd how quickly he had accepted the words 'his son' - words he never imagine he would be thinking.

The two walked towards the front entrance of the lab. Hayden had been there once before, but his grandmother had been there then. This time there was no one here with him except for Nick. The tall Texan shot Hayden an encouraging smile as they stepped through the door that led into the reception area of the lab.

The receptionist glanced up briefly, and smiled in greeting at Nick before returning her attentions to the screen at her desk. Nick returned her smile and turned down the hall that would lead them to Grissom's office. The lab was filled with its usual bustle of activity. Having worked on swing shift, for a period of time, Nick recognized many of the people he passed. He greeted them all with a friendly nod of the head, ignoring their questioning looks at the small child at his side, who upon their entering the lab, had moved so that they were nearly touching.

Reaching his supervisor's office, Nick found the lights on and the office's owner inside. He rapped gently on the open door and Grissom looked up, mildly startled. Eyeing him with confusion, Grissom motioned for Nick to come into the office.

As he followed Nick into the room, Hayden looked around the room wide-eyed. There were a lot of strange things on the walls, including extremely large bugs. Hayden was not normally scared of bugs, but he had never seen any like the ones in this room and they made him a little afraid. Momentarily forgetting the reservations he had, he slipped his small hand into Nick's.

Feeling the warmth of Hayden's small hand in his, Nick smiled. Getting over his initial surprise at Nick showing up suddenly, Grissom noticed the small child who had also entered his office. Nick noticed Grissom's curious looks at Hayden and answered his unspoken question, "Gris, this is Hayden, my son."

"Your son...?" Grissom muttered his gaze still fixed on the brown haired toddler.

"Its kind of a long story." Nick stated, "But the short of it is, his mother died and I've been granted custody, and while I know this is short notice, I was hoping I could take a couple weeks off. Just so we can get settled and all."

Recovering to his usual impassive self, Grissom nodded, "Sure, Nick, we can manage without you for a bit. Take how ever long you need."

"Thanks," Nick replied gratefully, moving to leave.

"Oh, Nick?" Grissom questioned causing Nick to pause. "Do you want to tell the team yourself, or would you like me to fill them in?"

"I don't mind, you can tell them, since they'll likely ask." Nick said, wondering how the team would react to the news, but knowing that he could not stick around waiting for the rest of the team as Hayden needed to get to bed well before their shift would start. "Well, we should be going." He said leaving the office with little Hayden in tow.

- - - - - -

Despite his lack of practice, Nick managed to get Hayden's teeth brushed and get him set up on the air mattress. The small child, clearly worn out from the last few days, which to say the least had not been easy for him, fell asleep nearly as soon as he had laid down.

Nick watched him sleep for a few minuets before he decided he should head to bed too. However, for Nick, night was his day, and it took him some time to settle down. He knew he was likely screwing his sleeping patterns up for when he did go back to work,_ if he could even continue working nights_. But he did not care. He knew it would be more practical to be in sync with the rest of the world while he was off anyway.

After nearly an hour of tossing and turning, Nick finally slipped into a gentle sleep. It was not until he felt a soft tug on his arm, that he was brought to a half-wakefulness some time later.

Disoriented, it took Nick a long moment to figure out it was the middle of the night, and the wide-eyed boy standing right beside his bed, holding his arm, was Hayden. As he finally realized he had been woken up by the frightened boy, he sat up. "Hayden? What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

When Hayden looked up at Nick it was clear to him that the boy had been crying, and it broke Nick's heart to see the tears streaks down the small child's cheeks. "I want Mommy." The reply came between sniffles.

Gently, Nick lifted the toddler onto his lap. Hayden stiffened slightly at the contact, but did not protest. Nick had no idea how to comfort the child, nor did he know what to tell him. Instead he just held Hayden as the tawny-haired boy broke into new set of sobs. He buried his face into Nick's shirt and sobbed for a long time.

Patiently, Nick held him, and waited until the crying subsided. After a time, Hayden rubbed at his eyes with small fists. "Are you ready to go back to bed?" Nick asked.

Hayden shook his head adamantly. Nick was now very tired, having only managed to sleep a few hours before Hayden woke him, but he did not insist. Instead he let his son remain curled in his lap until Hayden fell asleep. Not wanting to wake the boy he very carefully carried Hayden back to his own room, where he tucked his into the temporary bed.

Returning to his own room, Nick slept clear through until morning. Awaking to find sunlight trickling in through his thick blinds, Nick got up and went to check on Hayden. The toddler was curled up and fast asleep in his room. The steady rise and fall of his chest made Nick smile. He had such a perfect little son. He could not believe how much of Hayden's life he had missed,_ his first words, first steps, heck, even his first breaths. But know I can be here for the rest of his life. I might not make the perfect parent, but at least I can be there for him, instead of him being all alone. _Nick thought to himself, feeling a strange sense of pride that the little boy before him was his son.

Retreating to the kitchen, Nick made himself some coffee and mentally began a list of all the things he would need to get done in the next few days. Breanna's funeral was fast approaching and there were a number of things he needed to buy for Hayden. As well, he would need to find someone to watch Hayden once he went back to work.

Setting aside the last one for the moment, he decided to take Hayden shopping after breakfast. He had heard movement in the other room and headed over to check on Hayden. Hayden had just gotten out of bed and seemed to be momentarily confused. As he noticed Nick standing in the doorway he seemed to remember where he was.

"You hungry?" Nick asked gently.

Hayden nodded and followed Nick back into the kitchen where Nick gave him a small bowl of cheerios. Hayden climbed onto the chair on his own, but it was clear to Nick that he could not reach the table. Digging a telephone book out from a cupboard Nick slipped in under Hayden allowing the boy to bed able to reach the bowl.

With only a slight spill, Hayden managed to finish his breakfast uneventfully and then Nick helped him get ready so they could go out.


	9. Breakdown

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: I am very, very sorry, for those of you who like this story and so kindly reviewed. It was very wrong of me to leave this story like I did, but in truth I have been working on a very time consuming original piece. (which I think is drawing to a close now) I still can not promise you regualr updates yet, as I have a rather busy life at the moment, but I will really try. I will not leave it for months again this time, I promise. So, for any one out there still reading this, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and review (if you are not too mad at me for the delay.)

- - - - - -

Nick pulled into the parking lot of a nearby shopping mall. Hayden was silent the entire walk into the building. Deciding that he really did not want to bother Mrs. Halton with bringing all of Hayden's belongings back from California, especially bigger things like his bed, Nick lead the way into the bedding department of a large store.

Hayden looked forlornly at all the beds, and would not offer any opinions no matter how much Nick gently coaxed. A young peppy sales woman came over to help, but if she noticed Hayden's silence, she said nothing.

After awhile, Nick gave up on Hayden's help and picked out a bed on his own. After setting up the delivery he moved out of the store into the main mall area. Hayden still walked sullenly by Nick's side, and he wondered if he was pushing too much. But he also knew Hayden had only had a couple changes of clothes, so Nick took him into a large clothing store next, promising, "Well just get a few outfits and then we'll go back home, okay?"

Hayden nodded numbly, but he was not thinking home as in Nick's house. He was thinking of the home where he and his mother had lived for as long as he could remember. He wanted to go back there. Maybe his mom would be there. . .

It took Nick a minute to find the children's clothing section. Taking a guess at a size that would fit his son, Nick started scanning the area for some shirts and also for something for the boy to wear to his mother's funeral. Reaching up Nick pulled a pair of black pants down from a rack.

Then, looking down to compare them to his son's pants, Nick noticed Hayden was no longer standing at his side. Panic knotted in his stomach as he looked around frantically, until he spotted Hayden a few feet away.

He hurried over to his son, "Never do that again." He told Hayden, his fear making his comment come out much sharper than he had intended. Nick realized his mistake a second too late, as Hayden started to cry.

"Shhh," He offered gently. "I'm sorry Hayden. You scared me that's all."

Still Hayden cried, clearly overloaded from the past few days. It pained Nick to see his son crying, and he reached out to hold him like he had the previous night. But unlike last night, this time Hayden did not seem to want Nick's comfort.

"NO!" He yelled loudly, pulling away from Nick's touch. "Let go!"

Nick withdrew his hand, hurt by his son's rejection. With all of his attention still focussed on his son, Nick was oblivious to the looks they were receiving from the other shoppers, as well one of the check-out clerks making a phone call.

Reaching out again, Nick gently took Hayden's hand, trying to steer him out of the store, thinking if he took him back home, the slightly more known environment would help to calm him down.

"I want Mommy!" Hayden sniffed loudly, dragging his feet, and making it generally difficult for Nick to move him. "I want Mommy." He repeated desperately. It was always Mommy who took him shopping for clothes. He wanted to go home to her. But he knew that what Grandma had said still stood, his mom was gone to heaven now. Now he had a Daddy. But he did not want to be with him, he wanted his mother and so the small child released his sadness, confusion and upset in the only why he could. He cried and screamed.

Nick continued to try and gently coax his son into moving, and Hayden had just given in, taking a few steps towards the stores exit, when Nick felt a hand on his arm.

"Let go of the kid." The uniformed mall security officer order firmly. Nick stared at him confused for a long moment.

"I said let go of the kid." The man repeated his hand closing in a firm grip around Nick's arm. Startled, Nick let go of Hayden's hand.

"Wha-?" He started to stammer, until he looked around at several curious on lookers, that Hayden's little tantrum had attracted, and it dawned on him, how it might have looked to someone who did not know what Hayden had just been through.

A second security officer, this one a woman, was trying to talk to Hayden, who was still crying and backing away from her offered hand, his eyes wide with confusion.

"Come on." The officer holding Nick said gruffly pulling him out of the store and away from his frightened son.

"No wait!" Nick begged desperately. "He's my kid."

The officer did not respond, giving Nick a look that clearly said he did not believe that.

"Hayden." Nick called out trying to pull away form the security guard's tight grip.

The security station was just around the corner from the store and the guard led a still protesting Nick into a small room that reminded him a little of the interrogations rooms at the lab, only without the two way mirror. "Have a seat." The officer instructed.

Nick complied, taking a breath to try and calm himself, "Look, I know how that must have looked, but he really is my so-" Nick started, only to be cut off.

"Uh, huh." The guard replied, "Got any proof of that?"

"Huh?" Nick stammered.

"Proof, care card, birth certificate, anything."

"Uh." Nick thought quickly, _did he have any documents of Hayden's?_ They were probably all in California, at Breanna's place. . . _Not that they would do any good, as I would not even be listed on his birth certificate. _

The guard took his non-answer as a no. "Didn't think so." He said smugly, and as Nick opened his mouth to say something else, the guard stopped him. "I don't really want to hear it, save it for the cops." He said turning to the door, "They should be here in a few." He added before he disappeared out the door, leaving Nick sitting alone in the room, worrying about his small son sitting, probably frightened, with unfamiliar people. _Not that you are all that familiar to him. . . _

Nick sighed and leaned back in the chair._ This was definitely not how he had expected to spend his second day as a father._

- - - - - -

"Where is your Mommy?" The woman asked again getting frustrated.

And just like the first five times she had asked before, Hayden said nothing. He was sitting on a bench outside the security office, no longer crying, but only because he lack the tears.

"Come on sweetie." The woman said now, "Just tell me where your parents are, so we can get you home. I'm sure you want to go home don't you?"

Hayden scowled. He had decided he did not like this woman. He did not trust her, she wore a uniform like a cop, but he knew she was not a cop. Nick was a cop. Also she only asked him about his Mommy, and about his home. Why did she have to keep asking? It was not like he could go home and be with his Mommy like he wanted, and her asking just painfully reminded him of that.

He wanted Nick to come back and sit with him. Nick was his dad, that was what his Grandma had said. And Nick was supposed to be looking after him, now that his Mom was in heaven. But the other man in the uniform, whom Hayden also did not like, had taken him away somewhere. Hayden wanted to cry again, he was so confused, and now Nick was gone too. Everyone just kept going away. He sniffed loudly and still refused to talk to the guard.


	10. Comprimised

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: I'm glad to know a few people are still reading this. Well thank you for your reviews, and here is chapter ten. I hope you enjoy.

- - - - - -

Brass wearily headed out to his car. It was well after his shift _should_ have ended, and yet he had still been at work, finishing off a case when he had received yet another call. Irritated, he had dropped his case file, hoping, however unlikely it was, that he would still get off work sometime today.

Pulling into the parking lot of the mall, Brass, already irked by having to be there at all, was not about to hike the entire length of the over-crowded parking lot. Putting his removable lights on his dash to avoid being towed, he parked his car up against the yellow painted curb, only a few feet from the mall's main entrance.

Once inside the mall, his otherwise excellent sense of direction shut off, as it always seemed to in large shopping facilities. After wandering around the mall, and succeeding only to increase his fowl mood, for nearly a quarter of an hour, he managed to find the security station, which was just an office that led off to a short hall, which presumably led to a couple of holding rooms.

There was a small boy seated outside the security office, on a bench. Presumably the kid whose parents could not be located, and hence why Brass, a detective, had got the case rather than a uniformed cop. Walking past the kid, Brass got the strange feeling he recognized the boy, but shrugged it off as lack of sleep.

A tall male security officer came out of the office. "We've got your guy in the back room." He said without introductions, as he noticed Brass's badge.

"Got a name off of him?" Brass asked trying not to let his impatience show.

"I didn't stick around long enough to ask." The security office admitted.

Of course not, Brass thought irritably, but said nothing as he followed the man to a locked door near the end of the short hall. The guard produced the key and opened the door for Brass.

Brass made it as far as one step inside before he stopped short, causing the guard who had been following him to nearly walk into him. "Nick?" He asked incredulously as he recognized his colleague sitting in the holding room.

Nick's head shot up at the sound of his name. "Hey Brass," He muttered wearily. He sounded almost as worn out as Brass felt.

"What the hell is this?" Brass demanded glaring now at the security officer who now had a very confused look plastered on his face.

"He. . . He's the guy we apprehended dragging that kid out of the store," The man stammered weakly.

"I was not dragging _my_ kid anywhere." Nick shot back, raising to his feet, and only realizing after the words had left his mouth, that Brass knew nothing of his son.

Now it was Brass who looked confused, as his gaze shifting back to Nick. "What?" He replied blankly.

Nick sighed, _he was definitely getting tired of having to explain this_. Ignoring the sudden smug look on the security guards face, who still seemed to believe he was right about all this, he looked at Brass. _This was also definitely not how he imagined telling his other co-workers._ "You remember the Halton case?" He asked Brass.

Brass thought for a moment and then nodded slowly, "Yeah . . . wait." He said as though he had suddenly recalled something. "That's the vic's kid, isn't it?" He said finally placing the boy sitting on the bench. He shot Nick a strange look. _What the hell was going on here. _

"And since she is dead, as his father, I have legal custody." Nick explained.

It took second for the information to sink in, but as it did, another realization dawned on Brass. His earlier annoyance, morphed into full out anger and he spun around suddenly and growled, "Give us a moment."

Startled, the security officer took an involuntary step back, taking him out of the room. Brass reached for the door and slammed it shut forcibly, before turning back to Nick. "You mean to tell me, that you had a sexual relationship with the victim and didn't think to recuse yourself from the case?" He exploded.

Nick flinched under the verbal assault. "It was one just one night, over three years ago." Nick hastily explained. "I didn't think it would matter."

"You didn't think that it is considered personal bias when you're investigating the death of the mother of your child?" Brass demanded, disbelieving what he was hearing from his co-worker.

"I, I didn't know, that he was my son." Nick admitted quietly. "Not until after all the evidence had been collected."

Brass sighed heavily. _It was not really Stokes' fault, _he told himself as he forced himself to take a calming breath. But still his anger did not fully dissipate. "You know, that doesn't even matter. All it takes is one mention that the forensic scientist working the case had a child with the victim and that's what the jury is going to remember. If they get wind of this, this guy could walk." _Damn he hoped that the guy ended up having to use one of the overworked court appointed legal aids, who would not have the time to go digging into the background the officers on the case._

Nick studied the floor silently. Neither spoke for sometime, both considering the ramifications of Nick having worked the case. It was Brass who finally broke the silence.

"I guess that explains your emergency leave." He commented and Nick nodded in confirmation. "Which you know, might not be such a bad thing, since it means Catherine will probably do the all testifying. Unless the defence calls you themselves."

"Yeah," Nick muttered quietly, he could not even think of how he would feel if the guy who killed Breanna walked just because he had worked the case.

"Well, I guess we'd better go get your kid." Brass said reaching for the door handle. He stoped, his hand on the handle and turned back to look at Nick. "Oh and Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Do me a favour and get yourself a copy of the custody papers to carry around with you. My men and I have got too much work to do, to be wasting our time clearing up another little episode like this."

Again Nick nodded silently and followed Brass out of the room. Hayden was seated at the open end of the hall on a bench. The female officer had finally given up trying to talk to him and now watched him from the office.

"Hey Hayden." Nick said coming to a stop in front of his son.

"Hi." Hayden replied in his quiet voice, as he hopped down from the bench.

"You remember Captain Brass?" He asked his son as he gestured to Brass. From Hayden's blank look he assumed not. "Well, he is a co-worker of mine." Nick explained as he offered his hand out to Hayden.

His son hesitated only a moment before accepting his hand. Brass walked them out of the mall but left them at the parking lot as he headed over to his illegally parked car. Father and son were alone once more.

"Nick?" Hayden asked quietly, now that they were alone, the name sounding unfamiliar in the tiny voice. "I'm sleepy."

Nick smiled down at his son gently. He was not really surprised, not after his son had woken up in the middle of the previous night. "Let's get you home." He said leading the way back to his car.

With Hayden tightly in the back seat, Nick got into the front and headed towards home. Glancing in behind him at the first red light, Nick saw his son slumped in the car seat, already asleep.


	11. Saying Goodbye

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, any of ther characters or plot lines. I do own my own ideas, and thats about it.

Zai: Okay, it seems like I spend all my authors notes apologizing, but here it is again. I am very sorry for the very lengthy delay. I know how annoying it is to have a story just stop in the middle, so I am trying very hard to finish this, eventually. My life is a lot busier than I expected it to be, but enough excuses.

Recap so far (just in case you have forgotten everything after so long, assuming I still have anyone even interested.): Nick and Catherine were investigating a crime scene, when Nick realizes he knew the victim, Breanna, a woman he spent one night with several years ago. He goes with Brass to tell Breanna's mother of her death and there meets her son Hayden. He runs Hayden's DNA and realizes Hayden is his son. He gains custody of Hayden and takes two weeks of leave from work.

And now for the long awaited update:

* * *

"Hey Warrick," Sara greeted as she walked into the break-room to find her co-worker pouring himself a cup of coffee. It was just before their shift was due to start and the room was empty besides the two of them.

"Hey," he replied glancing up, "You want one?" he added gesturing to the coffee machine.

"Sure."

Warrick poured her a cup and the two sat down at one of the tables that occupied the small room.

"You know if Nick is sick or something?" Sara asked curiously, "He wasn't in last night, and I haven't seen him yet tonight."

Warrick shrugged, "He didn't say anything to me, but I'm fairly certain he doesn't have any scheduled time off," he replied, not really wanting to admit he had also been wondering about his friend. It was not like Nick to miss work, and it was even less like him not to tell Warrick what was going on.

Any further speculation on their part was halted as Catherine, followed closely by Grissom, entered the room. Grissom, looked around the room, and noting the absence of his youngest CSI asked, "Is Greg in yet?"

"Yeah, he was just finishing up in the locker room when I got in." Sara replied looking up from her coffee.

"All right," Grissom replied as he placed a few assignment slips on the table and headed over to the coffee maker himself. Warrick watched him with a curious gaze. Grissom usually handed assignments out right away even if someone was late._ And why ask about Greg but not Nick?_ He wondered.

The team had fallen into an almost awkward silence when Greg walked into the room a few moments later. Leaning against the far wall, where he could see his whole team Grissom cleared his throat and finally spoke up. "Before I give out cases tonight, I need to let you all know we are going to be short-staffed for the next two weeks." He began receiving a worried look from Sara, and confused ones from both Warrick and Greg. Catherine, already knowing where Nick was just listened silently.

"Nick's taken some personal leave in order to deal with his altered living arrangements, now that he has custodial rights over his son." At his team's stunned expressions he continued. "I don't know the entire story myself, but apparently the child had been living with his mother, who recently died, leaving Nick as the boy's only parent. And having found out about his child, he took custody."

Sara and Warrick still looked completely shocked by the news, but oddly, Greg looked more like everything had just started making sense.

In truth, Greg had been wondering about Nick's strange request for him to run DNA for a few days now, ever since he had found out that the DNA on the case Nick had been working at the time had already been run. But now, now, it all made sense. It defiantly explained why he just needed a relation match and not a CODIS run.

Grissom gave them a moment to absorb the information before reaching for the night's caseload. As he handed out assignments, Warrick tried to understand how his best friend had not managed to tell him about something this important.

- - - - - -

Thursday morning arrived much faster than Nick had expected. He had sat Hayden down the night before and tried his best to explain to his small son what would happen at his mother's funeral, but he had found that he really had no idea how to explain such a concept to the toddler.

Hayden clearly did not understand what was going on. However, Nick still thought it was important for them both to be there.

In his son's room Nick had tried to dress Hayden in a dark navy shirt and pants, having not gone back to the store it was the closet to funeral type clothes Hayden owned. However, Hayden had not been thrilled with the selection and had tossed the navy shirt across the room upset and dressed himself in his red t-shirt instead.

Nick, deciding it really did not matter what Hayden wore did not bother trying to change the boy's mind. This would be a difficult day as it was, he did not to add to that. He, himself, was dressed in one of his dark suits, that were usually reserved for court appearances.

Catherine had phoned him at the end of her shift that morning to let him know that the team was thinking about him. She had even offered to come with him and Hayden to the funeral, but he had turned her down, knowing she needed to sleep.

Once he and Hayden were both ready, they headed out to the car. Nick, had made sure they were ready quite early, knowing that things did not always go as planned with young children, but they made it to the church uneventfully. Mrs. Halton was already there when they arrived.

Shortly after Nick arrived, friends of Breanna and her mother began to arrive. The small church was not filled, but Nick could tell that the few friends she had had been very close. Mrs. Halton took a seat in the front pew as the service was about to begin, motioning Nick to join her.

He felt a little out-of-place, having only met Breanna once. But he headed over to the seat, with a confused and bored Hayden in tow. The service was short, but the preacher spoke very well. Hayden had fidgeted uncomfortably in his chair through most of the service, but he had not said anything. The preacher ended the service with a prayer and then he stepped aside for the family and friends to say their final good byes. Mrs. Halton went up the casket and looked down on the face of her only child. Not for the first time that day, tears rolled down her face.

When she stepped away. Nick took hold of Hayden's hand. "Do you want to say good-bye to your mom?" He asked gently, hoping Hayden remember what he had told him the night before. Hayden looked towards the coffin at the front of the church and then he moved closer to Nick's side.

"Nu-uh." He said quietly.

"Okay. That's alright." Nick replied gently as he lead Hayden away from the coffin to stand near Mrs. Halton. Slowly all of the family friends and friends of Breanna walked up to say their good-byes. They then came over to where Nick, Hayden and Mrs. Halton stood, to offer their condolences.

Even though Hayden had meet many of the people before, he pulled back, half-hiding behind Nick. Nick himself, got a few strange looks, and he suspected no one had expected Hayden's father to step forward after having nothing to do with the child for so long.

It took awhile, but eventually the church emptied out, leaving only the three of them left.

"I'm heading out to California this weekend," Mrs. Halton told Nick, and he knew she was trying to keep busy to avoiding thinking about everything that had happened. "After I clear out the house, I'll put it on the market. I don't need the money, so I was thinking of putting it away for Hayden, when he's ready for college."

"I'm sure Breanna would be happy about that." Nick said hoping his words could offer some comfort.

Mrs. Halton smiled faintly. "I'm glad you're here for Hayden." She told him looking over at her grandson, who was seated on the steps of the church a short distance away, not really listening to them. "Well, I should be going,"

Mrs. Halton gave her grandson a hug and kiss and then headed off to her car, running all the things she needed to get done through her mind, anything to keep busy. Nick watched her go before taking Hayden's hand and heading off to his own car. He looked down at his son, the boy had not shed a tear during the funeral, but then he really had not understood what was happening. Nick knew it would still take some time before everything finally sunk in.


	12. Panic

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters or the plots. I do own my own ideas though.

Zai: I'm so glad that many people are still reading this. I really appreciate the reviews, especially since I don't really deserve them. Hope this next update keeps you all as interested as you are now. I'm still not sure where this story is going, so I'm still making things up as I go, but hopefully I will have another update soon. Oh also a little note, this chapter references a couple of episodes minorly - Overload and Grave Danger.

* * *

The weekend passed quickly, and by Monday, Nick found him and Hayden settling into a routine of sorts. Unfortunately, he knew that this could not last, his first week of leave was almost up, and while he had tried to put it off, he knew he needed to start looking into who could look after Hayden while he worked.

He started the morning by going through ads for part-time nannies. By ten, he gave up frustrated. He just could not do this. _How could he be expected to leave his son with some stranger? _Especially after all that Hayden had been through recently. _Especially after what he had been through. . . _

Neither Hayden or Nick had sleep well the past few nights. Hayden had been woken up by nightmares each night since he had come to live with Nick, and as a result, Nick was not sleeping much either. Not that sleeping at night was easy for him anyway, as his internal clock was on the fritz after working nights for so long.

Nick ran his hand through his hair wearily and headed into the living room where Hayden was watching a cartoon. "Hey buddy." He said coming to sit beside him. "What'cha watching?"

Hayden shrugged silently. He was still very quiet, but he had not had anymore major breakdowns, for which Nick was thankful, but then they also had not gone out since the funeral. It seemed easier for them both if they just spent the day at home.

"Your Grandma called this morning." Nick said hoping to get more than a shrug out of his son. "She's going to stop by later with some more of your things."

Hayden looked up at Nick this time, but still said nothing. _At least he is listening_. Nick thought.

- - - - - -

They were just finishing lunch, when the doorbell rang. Nick got up and helped Mrs. Halton bring in a few boxes from her car. She had brought some of Hayden's clothes and toys back with her. Nick set the boxes down in his son's room, next to the new bed that had arrived the day before.

Mrs. Halton handed Nick a smaller box, "Just some other things Hayden might want later on," She explained, "Pictures mostly, and a couple of Breanna's things."

Nick really was not sure what to say so he just accepted the box with a nod.

Hayden wandered into the front room, having finished his lunch. "Hi Grandma." He said quietly, and Nick was sadden to realize they were the first words he had said today.

"Hey my little angel." Mrs. Halton said ruffling his hair. "How about you and I go out for a little while?" She asked gently, thinking Nick could use some time to himself, the young man looked exhausted.

"Okay." Hayden replied, his voice monotone.

Nick helped his son into a jacket and a pair of shoes and watched them out the door. As they drove away, Nick headed back into the living room, on his own for the first time in days. The box that Mrs. Halton had given him was sitting on the coffee table and Nick gently opened to lid to look inside.

The first thing in the box was a small photo album. Mostly it had pictures of Hayden with his mother over the last year, but slipped in the last few pages were several pictures of Breanna from long before she had Hayden. Nick put the photo-album aside, knowing one day his son would need the pictures just to remember his mother.

A second book was the next thing he pulled out of the box. He flipped to the first page and realized it was Hayden's baby-book. Each page he flipped through bore a different memory, a different memory that Nick had missed. Hayden's first step, first word, first hair-cut - complete with lock of hair. All of it recorded in neat feminine printing.

_Why hadn't she told him?_ Nick found himself wondering, not for the first time. _Had she honestly thought that he would want nothing to do with his own child?_ Not wanting to look at the book anymore, he put it aside also.

A small gold chain with a cross on it, presumably Breanna's, was the last thing in the box, besides some loose papers. Nick pulled the papers out and glanced at them. The first was a sheet of paper detailing the information of a bank account Mrs. Halton had set up for Hayden with Breanna's money. As soon as the house sold, she would add that to it as well. The next few were documents Nick would need, including Hayden's birth certificate.

Nick glanced briefly at the small document, and as he had guessed there was no one listed as the father. He was about to set it back in the box, when his eye fell on the name listed. _Hayden Nicholas Halton_. He stared at it for a long moment, _she had named his son after him. _Which meant she had known he was the father,_ she had known and yet had still not told him. Not let him be a part of his child's life._ Had she thought he would want nothing to do with his own son? Had she thought he would make that poor a father to their child that Hayden would be better off without him?

The thoughts and questions swirled around in Nick's overly tired mind. It was just too much. _He could not do this._ He did not know anything about being a father, he did not know anything about his own son. He lived alone, he worked in the middle of the night. How was this supposed to work? He could not just leave his son with some nanny.

Some _sitter._

Nick's chest started to feel tight and his breath came in short gasps. _Panic attack,_ his mind vaguely registered. _What if they hurt his son?_ He could not let that happen to his boy, he needed to be there, so it did not happen to his little boy, like it had happened to him.

He was really starting to feel light headed now.

_He really should sit down._

He was already sitting down.

_When did that happen? _

He ducked his head between his knees and let his breathing slow.

_In _

_Out_

_In _

_Out_

Slowing his breathing levelled off, the tightness in his chest receded. Nick remained sitting on his couch, head between his knees for several minutes. He was glad no one had been there, he had not had an attack in a long time. Not since he was little. . . _but that's not true_, his mind countered. He'd had them much more recently than that. He'd had them after the box. Nick closed his eyes and shook the memory of the glass box from his mind. He could not deal with that now. That was in the past. _This is all in the past._ He needed to think about Hayden now.

Only when he did, he remembered that night his parents had left him with that sitter, and he imagined Hayden, _his son_, going through that same thing and he felt the panic rising again.

Lifting his headed he reached for his phone, and dialed the first number that came to his mind.

"Willows." Catherine's voice said on the other end of the phone, and Nick realized he had dialed her cell instead of her home.

"Hey Cath." He said, startled to hear how shaky his voice sounded.

"Nick?" Catherine replied, a note of worry audible in her voice. "What's wrong?"

"I don't. . . I don't think I can do this."

"Do what Nicky?" She asked gently.

"Do any of this. I'm not a father Cath. I'm not what he needs." Nick rambled.

"Hold on Nick, what's happened?" Catherine asked.

Nick fell silent holding the phone to his ear in hands that had at some point started to shake. _Nothing had happened._ That actually made it worse. _He was such a mess._ Ashamed at his attack, and his neediness, he sighed. "Nothing. It's. . . I'm sorry, I'm fine." Nick said trying to make his voice sound normal. "Thanks anyway." He added disconnecting the phone.

"Nick?" Catherine called into the dead line. He was gone. "Damn," She muttered as she closed her phone and headed for the front door, grabbing her keys on the way. _That was definitely not 'nothing'._


	13. Overwhelmed

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters or the plot. I only own my own characters and story line

Zai: Thank you so much for the reviews. I'm very glad your all enjoying my story. I am also glad that I am managing to keep up with this story... hopefully that won't Jinx it. Well, here is yet another chapter, this chapter also includes references to the episode Overload. Hope you enjoy

* * *

A sharp knocking sound brought Nick back to the present. He glanced at the door, _were they back already? _He wondered, then he wondered exactly how long it had been; he had lost whole days before, staring off into nothingness after a panic attack. A quick glance at his watch reassured him that he had not lost too much time. _They really should not be back yet._

"Nick?" A voice called muffled slightly by the door. "Nick open the door."

_Catherine's voice. _Nick sighed, he should have known. Wearily he got up and headed to the door. He pulled it open.

Catherine's hand was raised to knock a third time when the door swung open in front of her. Nick looked rather pale and tired, she thought as she sized up the man standing before her. He turned and headed back into his house without a word. Catherine, taking it as an invitation, followed him in closing the door behind her.

Nick flopped back down on the couch as Catherine looked around. The house looked about the same as it had the last time she had been to visit him. The only noticeable signs that it was now co-inhabited by a small child were the stuffed teddy on the couch and the small yellow dump-truck on the floor near the tv.

Catherine finally shifted her gaze to Nick. Her colleague was sitting on his couch, looking at anything but her.

"Where's Hayden?" she asked sitting down on the edge of the coffee table near Nick.

"He's with his Grandmother," Nick replied quietly, his gaze fixed on the stuffed toy beside him.

They both fell silent for sometime. Finally Catherine saw that Nick was not going to be forthcoming about his distraught call. She was going to have to pull the answers out of him herself. "What's going on Nick?" She probed gently.

When Nick said nothing she continued, "Look I know this must be overwhelming for you. I mean seriously, I had nine months to prepare for Lindsay and I was still overwhelmed for a long time, heck I still am sometimes. But you, you went from zero to a hundred in a couple days. It's okay Nick," she assured him.

Nick shook his head slowly, "No, it's not . . ." He trailed off, absently picking up the toy. _He should tell her, she already knew most of the story._ He had never talked about it. Never told anyone until he found the words tumbling out of his mouth that one day. He had never meant to tell her, to dump his problems on her.

She had been horrified, and that look she had given him, that _victim_ look. He never wanted anyone to see him as the victim. He really wished he had not told her, but right now, he wished so badly to just tell someone. He closed his eyes, but his mind filled his vision with the view of his old bedroom, his eyes shot open again.

"Nick?"

"I. . . " He sighed, heavily and looked at Catherine for the first time, he looked so lost. "I keep thinking, what if it happens to him too? I could not live with myself if I let that happen to him."

Catherine sat in silence, confused. She really had no idea what Nick was talking about, but she could tell it had him seriously shook up.

"I haven't really got a choice," Nick continued, oblivious to Catherine's confusion. "I mean I can't watch him all the time, I have to work. But if I let someone do that to him. . . If he had to go through that too. . ." He sighed again and looked down at the bear in his hands. The prefect symbol off all the innocence and purity of childhood. The qualities that had been stolen from him so long ago.

"Nick," Catherine said trying to draw his focus back to her, "Start over, I want to help you, but you have to tell me what is wrong."

"I keep remembering it." His voice was a whisper now, "My parents only left me with her one night, one night, that's all it took." His hand gripped tighter around the bear, He looked up at Catherine. "I started looking for someone to stay with Hayden at night, and every applicant I looked at, all I saw was her face." He admitted.

It finally occurred to Catherine what Nick was talking about. She reached out and put a comforting hand on Nick's arm. _What was she supposed to tell him?_ Sure she had talked to victims of abuse before, but never like this, never years later when the memory came back to haunt them. "You want to talk about it?" She found herself asking gently. If she was honest with herself, she really wanted him to say no. She did not want him to tell her, she had proven that the way she let the first time he had told her slip from her mind, pushed back into a dark corner she refused to think about. But she would not be selfish this time, she would let him tell her if that was what would help him.

Nick hesitated a long moment. He knew that she was giving him the chance to talk about it. To help 'deal with it'. But he was dealing with it, _or so he told himself_, he had been dealing with it for years now. "No. No I'm fine." He insisted. "It's just with all that's been going on . . . I guess you're right, I'm feeling overwhelmed." And as simply as that, Nick felt his well trained defences slipping back into place, to hide the weakness back behind his mask.

Catherine nodded understandingly. Part of her knew he was lying. But the other part of her pushed it from her mind, "You know. . ." Catherine began after a moment, "I have a friend who might be interested in looking after Hayden while you work," She said remembering a conversation she's had with a friend of her mother's not long ago. "If, you know, it would help you feel more comfortable."

"I don't know Catherine." Nick replied tiredly, "I suppose you could ask her. . ." It was clear to Catherine he still was not thrilled with leaving his son with anybody, but they both knew that he would have to get used to the idea, he would not always be there to look after his son, no matter how much he wanted to be.

They talked for another hour, about nothing really. Catherine filled him in on work, and all the news from the team. Nick talked about Hayden, how he was still so quiet and unresponsive. Eventually Nick seemed to have returned to his usual self, and Catherine got up to head home. "Give me a call if you need anything."

"I will." Nick promised.

He sounded genuine enough to Catherine, and after telling him to make sure he got some sleep, she left. Nick sat back down on the living room couch after showing her out. He felt really exhausted now, but he did feel a little better. Hoping could keep everything from his mind for a while, Nick headed to his room to catch a little sleep before his son returned


	14. Work

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters or the story. I do however, own my own ideas and characters.

Zai: Sorry for the shortness of the chapter. I hit a little wall in my writing, but I think I know where the next one is going, and hopefully it will be a little longer, and hopefully it will be written soon. Thanks for all the great reviews, my last few chapters have been getting a lot of reviews and I really do appreciate them.

* * *

"Hey Hayden." Nick said as he walked into his livingroom.

Hayden looked up from where he sat on the couch. "Hi, Nick." The boy's reply was so quiet, but Nick's heart soared. Hayden was finally starting to open up to him. He hated that he had to go back to work in two days, but he knew it had to happen.

He sat down on the sofa beside his son. "Remember how we talked about me having to go back to work soon?" He asked his son gently, the last couple of days he had been trying to prepare his son, as best he could, for his return to work.

Hayden nodded, still opting for non-verbal responses the majority of the time.

"Good," Nick said approvingly, "In a couple days I'll have to go to work and Carla is going to come look after you. I told you about her yesterday." Carla was a friend of Catherine's family. The young woman had been looking for a job like this for a while and had jumped at the chance. Yesterday, Catherine and Carla had both come over, while Hayden visited his grandmother. Nick had gotten a chance to get to know the woman, and with Catherine's help, he was getting over his fear of leaving Hayden with her.

"She is going to come over in a little while, just to get to know you a bit before I have to go to work." He explained. After all Hayden had been through in the last few weeks, Nick wanted to make the transition as smooth as possible.

Hayden said nothing, but Nick knew his son was listening. Nick shifted on the sofa so he was looking at Hayden, "Son," He stumbled over the word, but it was becoming easier and easier everyday, "I want you to know, I can't be with you all the time. I want to protect you from everything and never let you go, but it just doesn't work that way. When I'm at work Carla will watch you, and occasionally maybe someone else, and in a few years you'll be in school. . ." He swallowed nervously, _this was so damn hard._ "I need you to promise me something. Promise me, that you'll tell me right away if anyone ever hurts you. No matter what they say, I'll always be here for you. Okay? Can you promise me that Hayden?"

He son looked up at him quietly, he knew his son did not really understand all he was talking about, but he just needed to say this. Hayden seemed to sense the desperation in his father so he nodded, "Okay, I promise." He said quietly.

About half an hour later Carla arrived. Hayden was his usual quiet self, but he allowed Carla to sit in the living room with him and watch tv. He listened as she talked, and though he offered no verbal response, he nodded or shook his head in response to her questions. From where he was watching in the doorway, Nick could not help but smile when Hayden giggled at something Carla said.

He felt amazingly relieved that he had found Carla to look after Hayden, he still felt some worry, but he knew that it would go away with time. He was so grateful to Catherine for helping him find a nanny in time to return to work.

0-0-0-0-0

Normally he would have found it hard to sleep during the day after two weeks of sleeping at night like the rest of the world. But Nick decided that the lack of sleep must have caught up with him, judging by the way he had just slept.

Although Hayden was getting better, he still had nightmares some nights and Nick always stayed up with him until he fell back asleep. He was a little worried about Hayden having a nightmare while he was at work, but he knew there was nothing he could do about that.

He also knew that he had needed to have this little nap before he went to work tonight or he would not make it through his shift. He had explained to Hayden he was napping and had left his son playing with his toy trucks in the living room with instructions to wake him if needed.

He headed out to the living room now to check on his son. He smiled when he saw his son, curled up on the couch sound asleep. Quietly he headed into the kitchen to start dinner, he would wake Hayden up when it was ready, he just could not bring himself to disturb the child now. He looked so sweet and peaceful.

Far too soon, Nick found the evening sliding past. He put Hayden to bed around eight thirty, but as not surprised when his son wandered back into the living room less than an hour later. He had guessed that sleeping half the afternoon would make Hayden stay up a little but later.

A little later Carla arrived, and Nick asked her to try to put Hayden back to bed after he left for work. And then he headed out the door into the Vegas night to head back to work. The drive was quiet, and Nick realized how little time he had had just to himself since finding out he was a father. He missed it a little, but oddly, not as much as he thought he would. Being around Hayden just seemed so much more important than anything he had ever done in his life.

He pulled into the parking lot at the crime lab seconds after Warrick. "Hey." He called getting out of his car.

Warrick looked over at the sound of his greeting. 'Hey man." He called coming over. "It's good to have you back. How's the kid adjusting?"

"Hayden's doing great, considering." Nick replied as the two friends walked in together.

"I was thinking of coming over sometime, but I didn't want to spring anything on him you know?" Warrick said.

"Yeah, thanks for thinking 'bout it. He's doing better now, but he's still real shy." Nick explained. He did want his friends to meet his son, and he knew they would in time. He was glad they had all decided to give him space during his two weeks.

The rest of the night past in a blur for Nick. He was amazed at how easily he forgot how busy they always were. The team was glad to have him back, although the joked it was more because they were tired of being short staffed than out of actually wanting him back. Nick found himself startled at how much he actually missed them after only two weeks.

He found himself even more startled to realize how much he missed Hayden after just eight hours. He could not wait to get home.


	15. Routine

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters or the story. I do however, own my own ideas and characters.

Zai: I don't know what to say, I am really sorry this is taking so long. I can't believe how time flies by in university. I'm on Christmas break now, and will be trying my hardest to finish this before I head back for the new semester. For all of you still dedicatedly reading and reviewing this piece, I apologize (again I know) and thank you as always for your feedback.

* * *

Carla was not the only one waiting for him when Nick walked through the front door after his first shift back at work. Hayden looked up from the kitchen table where he was eating a bowl of cereal.

"Hi Nick," he called before turning back to his breakfast.

"Hey," Nick replied, happy that Hayden had spoken first for once. He turned to Carla, who was gathering her things to leave. "I'm kind of surprised he's up already." Nick said quietly to her.

Carla looked back at Hayden and shrugged apologetically, "Well . . . he's actually still up." She admitted, before explaining, "I put him back to bed like you asked, but he was up in about an hour. I got him a drink and read to him, but he just got back up again."

Nick nodded, he wondered if Hayden had nightmares and did not feel comfortable telling them to Carla. "It's fine." He assured her. "I'll get him into bed before I head to sleep myself."

"All right." She replied before turning back to Hayden, "I'll see you tomorrow night, Hayden."

Hayden just nodded and continued to munch on his cereal. Nick moved into the kitchen and slipped a piece of bread into the toaster. "You weren't tired last night?" He questioned taking a seat beside Hayden at the table.

Hayden shook his head and looked up at Nick. "I'm tired now." He admitted quietly.

Nick smiled, "Well, after you finish that up," He said gesturing to the bowl, "We will get you ready for bed how's that sound?"

"Okay." Hayden agreed.

After Nick and Hayden had eaten, Nick helped Hayden to brush his teeth and he then tucked him into his bed. "I'm heading to bed now too, but if you need me, it's okay to wake me up all right?" He told his son, who nodded sleepily, Nick could tell the toddler was barely keeping his eyes open. "Okay, you sleep well." He said quietly, and headed to his own room.

It took Nick a little while to drift off to sleep, after a two-week vacation, he was now readjusting himself to sleeping during the day. His mind drifted to the small child sleeping in the next room. He had been surprised Hayden had not slept that night, but he was actually kind of glad. It had given him a chance to see his son this morning. It had also solved his problem about what Hayden could do while he slept, today at least.

0-0-0-0-0

Whether it was a fear of nightmares or not, Nick had no idea, but Hayden soon fell into an odd routine. He would nap for only a few hours at night, while Nick was at work, and then he would go to bed in the morning when Nick arrived home. Carla did not seem to mind, and it was a lot easier for Nick to sleep, when he did not have to worry about Hayden being up alone for hours. So, as unusual as it might be, it seemed to work well enough. _At least until he has to start school. _Nick decided,_ but hey, that would not be for a few years, and in the meantime whatever works_ _right? _

Nick had finally finished his first week back at work, and it had never seemed to take longer. In the last week Hayden had started to open up even more, and while he was still often a very quiet child, he had moments where he kept Nick on his toes.

Early evening on Saturday found the two building a makeshift car launch out of Nick's collection of bird books. Happy with the ramp, Hayden collected his toy cars and sent them flying down the books, giggling as they flew off the end.

A firm knock on the front door pulled Nick's attention away from the cars, but Hayden played on oblivious. He had not been expecting visitors, but when he open the door to find Warrick standing on his door step, he was not surprised. His friend had still yet to meet his newly-discovered son, and so he ushered him into the livingroom.

Warrick surveyed the ramp taking up his colleague's living room with a raised eyebrow. Nick just shrugged in reply, before addressing his son. "Hayden, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, his name is Warrick."

Hayden looked up at Warrick curiously. "War-Rick?" He repeated, pronouncing each syllable separately.

Warrick smiled, "Yeah, strange name huh?"

Hayden considered for a moment then nodded. "You like cars?" He asked holding one of his toys out to him.

"I sure do." Warrick said coming over to sit next to the ramp. He took the offered car. "You have an awful lot of cars." He commented, noting the pile of vehicles at the bottom of the ramp.

Hayden smiled and dropped another one down the ramp. "Your turn." He said gesturing to the ramp.

Warrick complied, letting go of the car from the top of the books and watched as it raced down to crash into the pile of cars at the bottom. Hayden giggled happily.

Nick watched from the sofa, glad that Hayden was being less reserved around people than he had been for the first three weeks Nick had known him. _Three weeks. _He shook his head slightly, amazed at how drastically his life had changed in only three short weeks. It was something he had never thought possible.

Hayden roped Warrick into playing cars with him for nearly an hour before he settled down in front of a cartoon. Nick and Warrick moved into the kitchen and sat down at the table with coffee.

"So how are you adjusting?" Warrick asked glancing through to the living room where Hayden was.

"Pretty well actually. I've already forgotten life without him." Nick admitted fondly.

"Yeah, he sure is a cute little guy." Warrick replied. He had not seen much of his best friend lately, and is he was completely honest, he had been a little nervous about coming to finally meet the reason for Nick's absence. Warrick had never been around little kids all that much, and he was not sure what to think, now that his friend was suddenly a father. But despite how little he thought he knew about kids, Hayden had put him rather at ease. He could not help but like the little guy.

"Of course he is, it's the Stokes' genes." Nick informed his friend matter-of-factly.

Warrick just shook his head. "Whatever man." The two men talked for another hour, before Hayden made his way into the kitchen, a book tucked under his arm.

"Book time?" Hayden asked looking up at Nick.

"Sure." Nick replied as he and Warrick got up.

"Well it was nice seeing you outside of work again." Warrick said as he grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. "And it was nice to finally meet you, Hayden." He added with a wave to the toddler.

"Bye War-Rick." Hayden replied holding out the book to his father.

Warrick stifled a laugh as he looked at the title, "Your not seriously reading him one of your bird books." He asked looking at Nick.

Nick shrugged, "He's got other books." He replied defensively, "But he likes to look at the pictures."

Warrick just shook his head as he made his way to the door. "Now that, is the Stokes' genes." He shot over his shoulder on his way out.


	16. Muddled Thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters or the story. I do however, own my own ideas and characters.

Zai: As always, I want to thank all of you who are reading and especially those of you who take the time to send a review, I really appreciate any comments.

* * *

It was nearly half an hour past his scheduled start time when Nick arrived at the lab on Monday evening. His weekend had been great, Warrick and Hayden had gotten along perfectly, and the small boy had actually started to talk to Nick a lot more.

But Monday had been an entirely different matter. Hayden had woken Nick up crying from another nightmare, but he refused to tell his father anything about it. Nor would he let Nick hold him. He just sat at the end of Nick's bed wailing until he once more ran out of tears.

His little outburst was followed by him running off to his room and refusing to eat dinner. Nick had even brought the food into Hayden's room, but still his son would barely even look at him. Nick had no idea what to think. Everything had been progressing so well, they were beginning to seem like father and son, and then this. Not wanting to leave until he was sure Hayden was okay, Nick had delayed leaving for work as long as he could, trying to coax his son into telling him what was wrong. But here he was now, half and hour late for work, and no closer to understanding Hayden's mood.

As he headed into the lab, Nick pulled out his cell phone, no messages, none from work and none from Carla. He was not sure if that should make him feel better or not. If she did not call that meant Hayden was not any worse, but it also left him not knowing if his mood was improving any.

He knew that he needed to focus on work but he could not pull his thoughts of Hayden's tantrum. His best guess at the cause was another nightmare. Nick himself had experienced nightmares, _not something he really needed to be thinking about right now, _he reminded himself. He imagined it had to be even harder for Hayden who probably did not know how to explain to anyone what he was thinking or feeling about everything going on. Nick was an adult and he had a hard time letting people know what he was feeling about certain things, _mainly the things he had nightmares about, _some part of his mind prodded him. Nick sighed, he really needed to get his mind out of the past. He shook his head, as though to clear the thoughts away and headed into the lab.

Nick had just passed through the lobby when he caught sight of Detective Brass in what looked like a rather intense conversation with one of the Assistant District Attorneys. Remembering the last conversation he had with Brass, in which he had been on the receiving end of a less than happy Detective, he decided to try to slip past them unnoticed. Only as soon as he was within hearing off them, he faltered and stopped.

"Trust me, it would be best if you kept Stokes off the stand on this one." Brass was telling ADA Mitchells. "Willows can cover the testimony can't she?"

"Well, she could, but CSI Stokes did handle the key evidence, it would just be easier to call him." Mitchells replied. "What did he screw up anyway?"

Brass just shook his head. "Probably best if you didn't know."

Nick, who decided it was a good time to make a quick exit before he was noticed, turned and took off down a different hall, and did not hear the rest of the conversation. He had heard enough to know exactly which case they were talking about.

Breanna's killer must be going to trial soon and the ADA was preparing his witness list. Brass had obviously intervened before Nick had been added. He hoped it would be enough. He was not sure he could live with having this case thrown out because of his involvement. But if the defence could convince a judge that he had a conflict of interest in the case due to his personal relationship with Breanna and her son then all of the evidence he handled could be tossed out. And since he was the one who had collected the prints that had led them to their suspect . . . Nick did not even want to think about the outcome of the case without that evidence.

Sighing, Nick tried to push the conversation, and his thoughts about his son, from his mind as he approached the layout room, where he found Grissom bent over a case file and Greg at the table examining a bloodied shirt.

"Griss?" Nick called as he entered the room. His boss glanced up then looked pointedly over at the clock hanging from the wall. He did not have to say anything for Nick to get his meaning. "I'm sorry I'm late. Hayden was having a bad day."

"If you're not ready to come back to work yet . . . " Grissom started before Nick cut him off.

"No, we're fine Griss." He replied hurriedly. He did not need Grissom questioning his ability to do his job now too. "I'll try not to let it happen again."

Grissom studied him for a moment with his sharp gaze and Nick momentarily felt uncomfortably like he was one of Grissom's bugs. Finally the older CSI nodded and said, "Warrick is just about to head out to a scene, you can head with him."

The scene, which was initially reported to be a possible suicide, turned out to be a triple homicide when the bodies of the victim's two children were found upstairs in a bedroom closet. Sara showed up to help, but between the three of them, they still spent nearly the entire shift processing and would still need to log all of their evidence and reports when they finally made it back to the lab. Nick, realizing they were not going to be clocking out on time, called Carla to let her know of his overtime duties.

"I'm really sorry about this." Nick apologized again to Carla over the phone as Warrick drove them back to the lab.

"Oh, it's all right, Hayden has already gone to bed," She assured him, after having told him that Hayden had finally eaten some of his dinner around midnight but still refused to say anything to her.

"I'll let you know if anything else comes up but I should be home in a couple of hours." He promised before finally hanging up.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Carla was watching tv with the volume down low when the telephone started ringing. She glanced at the clock and noted that it had only been about an hour since Nick had phoned to tell her he was working overtime, and she wondered if he was phoning back to say he would be even longer than expected.

"Hello." She said as she picked up the receiver. There was silence on the other end of the phone for a long moment and she repeated her greeting in a more questioning tone.

This time a woman's voice came over the phone in reply. The woman spoke slowly and sounded rather hesitant, "Hello? Is Nick there?" Her southern accent led Carla to conclude it might be one of Nick's relatives.

"No, he's not in right now. He's working overtime. Who shall I tell him called?" She asked politely.

Another moment of silence followed before the woman replied, "It's all right, I'll call back."

Before Carla had a chance to respond the line went dead as the caller hung up on their end. _Odd, _Carla thought heading back to the living room, _she'd have to remember to let Nick know_. She poked her head in Hayden's room as she passed by, but the toddler was peacefully sleeping under his blankets. Nick had warned her that sometimes he had nightmares, and to be honest she was not surprised, after all the boy had just lost his mother.

He was often quiet, but tonight had been the first time since she had first met him that he refused to even speak to her. She had tried, for a while, to convince him to leave his room and join her in the living room, but after awhile she had decided that it might be best if she just gave him some time and space. She had peeked in his room every little while, but he either did not notice or was purposely ignoring her.

Another glance at the clock, as she made it back to the living room, told her that she still had at least an hour before Nick would make it home. She settled down on the couch in front of some uninteresting day time soap, and soon found herself dozing off, all thoughts of the strange phone call slipping from her mind.


	17. End of a Long Day

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters or the story. I do however, own my own ideas and characters.

Note: References to the episodes "Boom" (season 1) and "Grave Danger" (season 5)

Zai: Merry Christmas, and happy holidays! As a present to you all, here is an unheard-of (for me) speedy update.

* * *

A loud ringing woke Nick up only two hours after he had arrived home from his extended shift. Having not slept much the day before he was exhausted, and it took him a long moment and two more rings to realize it was the telephone that had disturbed his sleep. Groggily he grabbed the receiver off the bedside table.

"Hello?" He muttered rolling over and leaning his head back into his pillow.

"Nicholas." A firm male voice replied.

At the sound of his father's voice, Nick sat up, instantly more awake. "Dad?" He asked bewilderedly. His father was not one to call. Ever. His mother was always the one who called. _Unless something was wrong . . . _"Dad, is everything okay?"

"You tell me." Came the vague response in a tone that Nick knew all to well. It was the tone of voice his father took with him on all the occasions where he felt it necessary to remind Nick that he was the 'black sheep' of the Stokes family. However, he had no idea what his father could be calling about, _he had not even had time to tell them about Hayden yet. _Not that he wanted to bring that up now, _He'd had far too little sleep, and his dad was already upset with him, not the best start. _

"What?" He finally managed when he realized the elder Stokes was actually expecting an answer.

"Your mother phoned you earlier and _some woman_ answered your phone." His father replied as though that explained everything. _And, _Nick realized, _to his father it probably did. _Why his parents seemed to feel the need to insert themselves into a situation that they knew nothing about and make the worst assumptions about him, Nick had no idea. "She was rather upset." Nick's father continued. "I understand that you're an adult son," The condescending 'judge' tone made its arrival. "But I had thought we raised you better than--"

Nick did not bother waiting for his father to finish. It was clear that his parents had decided that he could not possibly be dating anyone without their knowledge and therefore clearly the only other possible explanation for a woman being in his house was he had been bringing home random women from bars or something. Which not that it was any of their business if he was, was not the case. "Dad, I'm not sleeping with her."

This caused his father to pause in his rant, as he obviously had not planned for this possibility. "Then why exactly was she in your house while you were at work?"

_Damn. _Now he was going to have to break the news about Hayden to them after all. It was not that he did not _want _to tell his parents. He did. He was just hoping to have a little more time and be a little more alert when he explained the situation to them. Now it was just going to be another thing on the list of 'things Nick has done wrong'.

The list started with his job, as he had not followed his parents into law school as hoped and instead taken a job as a criminologist. It then progressed to him leaving Texas, as he was the only Stokes child to move from the state, the fight with his parents over that decision had been even worse than his job choice. Then there was the ongoing argument about his 'inability to settle down' which translated into he should be married by now like the rest of his siblings. Even his abduction had been brought up once, _yeah like he had done that on purpose. _

And those were just the things they knew about.

Nick was fairly certain his father would have a stroke if he ever found out how close Nick had come to being arrested for murder after his involvement with Kristy Hopkins. _And he did not want to think what his parents would say if they knew she had been a prostitute. _

"Carla, the woman Mom spoke to, she works for me." Nick explained hurriedly; _might as well just get it over with_, _just a few more things to add to the list. _

"Works for you?" his father parroted needlessly.

Nick sighed, "She looks after my son when I'm at work."

Silence. _Well what do you know, he had finally found something to render the judge speechless. _

It took another minute before his father finally managed, "Your what?"

"My son."

"You don't have any children." His father informed him, rather matter-of-factly.

"Actually dad, I do. His name's Hayden." Nick offered lightly.

"And you what, just decided to neglect to tell us this?" His father's voice was starting to raise in volume across the phone line, "I suppose in the last nine months you could not be bothered to give us a call, and let us know?"

"Dad, I--"

"And what are you doing leaving a baby with some nanny all night anyway, the kid has a mother doesn't he? Or is that something else that isn't noteworthy enough to tell your parents?"

"Dad, he's not exactly a baby." Nick finally managed to interrupt, he was starting to get angry himself, never a good thing. "And it's not like I wouldn't have told you if I'd known myself." He snapped back; _and if there ever was a wrong thing to say Nick, that was it, _he realized belatedly as the words left his mouth. _Definitely need more sleep. _

"What do you mean if you had known yourself? How can you not know you have a child? It's a little hard to miss when your girlfriend starts showing. Or did you just not stick around long enough for her to get that far." His father was in full rant mode now, "Did it ever even occur to you to use protection? Or to check to see if something like this happened? How many little Stokes children do you think are running around out there Nicholas?"

Nick was well and truly pissed off now. _It was not like he had not wanted to know. He'd even called her, it was Breanna who had kept it from him. _He had no idea why, and it was not like he could ask her, so they were all stuck there. _But that did not make it his fault. _And at least he was trying now, trying to be the father he never had a chance to be, for the first two years of his son's life. He held back his own retorts, instead grinding out, "I am not having this conversation with you right now. If you want to call back later when you're actually interested in listening to me, feel free." And with that he hung up on his father for the first time in his life. _Add that to the list, _he thought miserably as he sank back onto his bed.

Before he could even contemplate sleep the doorbell chimed and Nick groaned. _What now, _he wondered dismally, pulling himself up. He quickly replaced his sweats with a clean shirt and jeans and hurried to the door.

The man standing on his doorstep was dressed neatly in a dress shirt and slacks and he held a clipboard in one hand. "Yes?" Nick asked impatiently.

"Mr. Stokes? I'm Mark Pearson with social services. I'm here to do a follow-up visit regarding Hayden." The man explained curtly.

_Perfect. This was just exactly what he needed to finish off his day. _"Oh. Come in." He replied stepping back to allow the man entrance into his living room.

"Where is Hayden now?" Pearson asked glancing around the rather quiet house.

"He's sleeping," _something which I _should _be doing, _Nick added silently.

"Well I will need to speak with him, how long until he gets up?"

"We have lunch around three-thirty, so I usually get him up around three." Nick replied.

Pearson looked a little startled. "That's kind of long for a nap isn't it?" He questioned as it was not yet one o'clock.

"Huh? Oh, uh, it's not a nap really." Nick explained. "I work nights and he naps then, he sleeps when I do, during the day."

"He sleeps during the day?" The social worker repeated.

Nick was starting to be reminded of his conversation only moments before with his father, why did everyone just repeat what he said and did they all have to do it in _that_ tone? "Yes." Simple answers, then maybe, _just maybe,_ the guy would leave and he could finally go to sleep.

"Uh . . . all right." Pearson still sounded a little put-out by this, but Nick was fairly certain he could not be declared an unfit parent just because Hayden was living a little off-kilter from the rest of the world. "I'm still going to need to do a walk through of the home, and someone will come by at a later date to speak with him."

"Sure." Nick replied before giving Pearson a detailed run-through of his house similar to the one he had done with the first social worker before Hayden had been allowed to move in. Pearson noted the changes, mainly the addition of furniture, clothing and other essentials to Hayden's room. Nick figured everything must have been satisfactory as Pearson left, after arranging a time to come back to speak with Hayden.

Now that he was finally able to head back to bed, Nick found himself unable to fall asleep, he kept replaying the conversation he'd had with his father. At least his father seemed to have decided to actually take some time to cool down before calling back, at least Nick hoped he was calming down.

When he found himself still awake, half-an-hour later, he got back out of bed and headed to his son's room, he did not care what his father or anyone else thought, he was doing the best he could for Hayden. Stopping in the doorway, he was surprised when he noticed a pair of brown eyes looking back at him from across the room.

"Daddy?" Hayden said groggily sitting up is bed, "I saw a bad dream." He said sadly his eyes filling with tears again.

Nick was over and sitting down on Hayden's bed, with the small boy climbing into his lap before he even processed his son's words. Hayden had been calling him 'Nick' since they had first met, but this time he had called him _"Daddy." _

"Its okay son." He whispered gently as he held Hayden in his arms "It will get better, I promise." Slowly Hayden's breathing even out into the steady breaths of a deep sleep, and Nick, already exhausted, drifted off into sleep himself leaning up against the wall with his son curled up on his lap.


	18. Verdict

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters or the story. I do however, own my own ideas and characters.

Zai: I know it's a rather short chapter, but it was the best place to break I think. Just a few more chapters to go now.

* * *

Thursday morning found Nick in the lab's locker room. His life had calmed slightly after his hectic start to the week. Yesterday Hayden had sat down and talked with the social worker, and everything, except maybe their sleeping patterns, had passed social services scrutiny, so they had nothing else to deal with on that matter. He officially had full custody of his son. However, he still had yet to hear from his family again, and Hayden was frequently experiencing nightmares, leaving both of them lacking sleep.

Nick was unsure what to do about Hayden's nightmares. He had managed to get Hayden to tell him about some of them. Most of them seemed to be rather similar, often involving Hayden finding himself all alone, unable to find either of his parents. Nick knew Hayden must be scared of him leaving too, after all, he was too young to understand what had happened to his mother. Nick did his best to assure his son that he was not going anywhere, but the nightmares continued to come.

As far as his problem with his parents, Nick was actively putting that off. If his father was ready to listen, then he would call again. At least that was what Nick was currently using as his excuse. He really just did not want to start another long-distance phone fight.

A hand on his shoulder startled Nick out of his thoughts and he realized he must have been spacing off. He turned to find Catherine standing behind him. "Hey Cath," he offered wearily.

"You doing all right?" She asked sitting down next to him on the locker room bench.

"Yeah," He replied with a shrug, "just tired."

"The dreams still keeping Hayden up?" Catherine had been the first person he consulted for help with Hayden's nightmares, she had suggested having him talk through them with Nick, and she had also recommended a nightlight. Nick tried both, but neither really seemed to be helping.

"Yeah. I really don't know what else to do."

"Just be there for him Nick. Give him some time to adjust to everything and I'm sure the nightmares will stop." Catherine replied.

"I suppose." Nick replied, then looking over at Catherine he realized she had not even been on the last shift, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I have court later, and I just stopped by to see how everyone was."

Nick did not need to be a trained investigator to read through the line of that comment, _stopped by to see how he was. _He decided not to call her on it, truth be told it felt good to know there was someone checking up on him. "What case?" He asked instead.

Catherine hesitated for a moment before answering. "Theodore Crane." She finally replied.

"Oh."_ Theodore Crane - the man who had killed his son's mother. _

"I'll let you know as soon as a verdict is in." She promised getting up.

"Thanks Catherine, for uh, everything."

"Hey," She said giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze, "anytime."

0-0-0-0-0

The trial itself, ending up being quite short. After the entire case was presented, the jury took less than an hour to deliberate and reach their verdict. Catherine had only been needed for the first day of testimony, but had gone back to hear the verdict announced.

Afterwards she headed straight to Nick's house. It was afternoon by the time she got there and she figured he would be up by now.

Nick answered the door on her second knock. He had clearly just showered, so Catherine concluded she had not waken him. "Hey Catherine." He said letting her in. "What brings you by?"

"The verdict came in this afternoon." She replied following Nick to his living room.

Nick stopped half-way to the couch and turned to look at her, "Already?" He questioned wondering if that was a good or bad thing, he had expected the trial to last a few more days at least.

"Yeah," Catherine replied smiling. "It was a slam dunk Nicky, we got him."

Nick released a heavy breath and nodded. "We got him." He repeated to himself moving over to his couch. His thoughts had been so preoccupied on Hayden's dreams and his parents that he had not really thought much about the trial. But now, knowing that he had not compromised the case, that they had gotten the conviction, he felt relieved.

Catherine sat down next to Nick. "Jury was in for less than an hour."

"Thank you Catherine. I know this would have been a lot easier if I had not handled any evidence."

"You didn't know Nick." She reassured him, "and it doesn't matter anymore anyway."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

"Of course I am." Catherine replied brightly. "Aren't I always?"

They continued to talk for awhile longer, about nothing in particular, but Nick was happy to have a normal conversation with one of his colleagues again.

"Dad?" A voice interrupted them from the doorway. "Is it lunch time?"

Catherine shoot Nick a questioned glance, wondering when Hayden had turned 'Nick' into 'Dad'. Nick just smiled broadly in response, as he got up. "I was just going to start making it. Hayden, you remember Catherine?"

"Hi Hayden." Catherine said getting up. "How are you doing?"

Hayden shrugged and looked at his father. He had met Catherine a few times in the weeks he had been living with Nick, but he was still quite shy around most people. The only friend of Nick's who he said much to was Warrick, who had started dropping by when he could, for a few hours.

"You want to stay for some lunch?" Nick offered as he headed into the kitchen, Hayden following closely at his side.

"Nah, I should get home, make sure Lindsay's doing all right." Catherine replied, before turning to Hayden, "Well it was nice to see you again."

Hayden waved shyly as Catherine left and then went and sat at the table and watched Nick making lunch.


	19. Family

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters or the story. I do however, own my own ideas and characters.

Zai: This is basically the end, just an epilogue left which should be up in the next couple days. Again I want to thank all of you who stuck with me through this very drawn out story.

* * *

Nick stood in his doorway, staring stunned at the two people before him. It was Saturday afternoon, Hayden was at the table eating his lunch, and when the doorbell had rung Nick had thought that perhaps Warrick had decided to stop by.

_It was definitely not Warrick standing expectantly on his steps. _

"What are you doing here?" He finally managed to stammer.

"Nicholas," His mother admonished, "That isn't anyway to talk to your parents." His parents were standing, suitcases at their feet, on his doorstep, and Nick was vaguely hoping he had fallen asleep at the table and this was all some bizarre dream.

"Sorry." He mumbled stepping away from the door to let them in. "It's just I wasn't expecting you."

"Yes, well I thought it would be best to sort this all out in person, as phone calls seem to be getting us nowhere." Laura Stokes commented with a pointed look at her husband.

Nick gestured to the living room, indicating for them to sit. "I'll be right back." He said before disappearing into the kitchen to find his son.

Hayden was still sitting at the table, but he had lost interest in his lunch and was watching the doorway to the livingroom intently. Nick took a seat across from his son. "Hayden, uh, I'm sorry I did not give you any warning, but we have some visitors." He knew how shy Hayden was around new people, and he really wished his parents had given him some time to prepare him.

"My parents are here, they want to get to know you." He explained, hoping that was why his parents were here. Hayden looked anxiously towards the livingroom again. "You don't have to talk to them yet if you don't want to." Nick promised him.

Nick could hear his parents talking in low voices in the other room. It sounded like an argument was starting. He sighed, "Hayden why don't you finish your lunch, and come join us in a little while?"

"Okay." Hayden replied quickly, not really wanting to meet the two in the other room and gladly accepting the reprieve, even if it was only a temporary one.

Nick made his way back into the livingroom, halting his parents' conversation. "Hayden is in the kitchen eating." He told his parents flatly standing across from them. "He'll come join us in a bit, on a couple conditions."

"What?" His father, who up until now had not said a single word to Nick, questioned incredulously.

Nick continued as though his father had not spoken, "Hayden has been though a lot in the last little while, which I would already have explained to you had you bothered to listen to me the last time we talked. He is very shy around new people, so no yelling, no turning this into a fight, don't mention his mother, don't push him to talk, and if he wants to leave he will. Understand?"

His mother blinked at him, "All right son," She agreed, not really knowing why, as they had no idea how he had come to find out about his son. He had not had the chance to explain it to them before they just showed up on his doorstep, and with his son in the next room, he was not going to explain it right now.

Nick turned to his father expectantly. Bill Stokes nodded his assent to the conditions and Nick turned back to the kitchen, guessing that Hayden would not come out on his own.

Hayden was still seated at the table. It did not look like he had touched anymore of his lunch since Nick had left him. "Hayden, do you want to come into the livingroom for awhile and meet my parents?" He asked.

Hayden shrugged silently in response.

"You don't have to talk to them, if you don't want to." Nick promised again. "And if you want to leave and go into your room you can anytime. Just come in and let me introduce you okay?"

"Okay Daddy." Hayden replied letting Nick help him down from the chair. Together, father and son walked into the living room.

"Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Hayden." Nick said starting the introductions, "Hayden," he said turning to his son, "These are my parents."

"Hello Hayden." Laura said smiling at the cute toddler, to her left her husband remained silent.

Hayden looked up at his dad and then over to the couple on the sofa. The woman's tone of voice reminded him a little of his Grandma, but he did not really like the stern face of the man. Nick took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, reminding his son he was there. Hayden lifted his other hand and gave Nick's parents a shy wave.

0-0-0-0-0

Later that night as Nick got Hayden ready for his nap, he decided that the visit from his parents had gone well. Hayden had not said anything to them, but he had stayed and played in the livingroom for most of the afternoon while he told his parents some things about his son. In the early evening his parents had decided to find a hotel, as Nick's spare room was now occupied. They were coming back the next day, in the early afternoon, and Nick would explain everything to them then, while Hayden was sleeping.

His mother seemed to have forgotten Hayden's un-traditional addition to the family, but Nick was not too surprised, his mother just loved children. His father really had not said much the entire afternoon, so Nick was having a harder time gauging his father's reaction. He hoped that once he explained everything to them, his father would accept the situation as it was.

"Daddy?" Hayden asked, interrupting his thoughts, "Are they my grandparents like Grandma is?"

"Yes they are." Nick replied tucking his son into bed.

"Oh." Hayden replied closing his eyes for a minute, before turning back to his father, "Daddy? Why do they have more other grandkids?" His parents had giving him updates on his siblings and their children, as Nick often was behind on the news living out of state, and with the hours he kept with his job.

"Their other grandchildren are my brother and sister's children." He explained. "They are your cousins. And my siblings are your aunts and uncle."

"Oh." Hayden said again. His mother had not had any siblings so it had always only been him, his mother and his grandmother. Daddy's family was a lot different. His new grandparents had said that there were lots of other grandchildren, he wondered if any were his age. He closed his eyes sleepily.

Nick ruffled his hair, "Have a good nap son." He said getting up halfway to the door his son's voice stopped him again.

"Daddy?" Hayden asked again, "How come you and your parent's have funny voices and I don't?"

Nick stifled a laugh and walked back to his son's bed. "It's called an accent. Sometimes people who grow up in different areas talk differently, my family is from Texas so we have Texan accents." he explained.

"Texas?" His son asked.

"Yeah, it's a state. Like California or Nevada. We're in Nevada now. Sometime we'll go to Texas to visit the family and you can see it for yourself. And then you can meet some of your cousins, they all talk funny too."

"Okay." Hayden replied, then yawning he added, "'Night Daddy."

"Sleep well." Nick said gently kissing his son's forehead.


	20. The Little Things

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, the characters or the story. I do however, own my own ideas and characters.

Zai: So for anyone still hanging around reading this story, we have finally reached the end. Hope you all have enjoyed my story. I truely appreciate all the commetns I have recieved, especially since I took ages to complete this. Thanks for sticking with me!

* * *

_3 years later _

Five year old Hayden wandered into the kitchen. He was dressed proudly in the blue and white Dallas Cowboy's jersey that his Granddad had given him last Christmas, in his small hands he was carrying a football. "Dad?" he called finding his father working at the table.

"Yeah?" Nick replied without glancing up from the papers he was working on.

"Could we go to the park?" Hayden asked hopefully, outside the summer sun shone brightly in the late afternoon, and Hayden really wanted his dad to finish teaching him how to throw the ball with the proper spiral.

Nick looked up and could not help smiling when he noticed Hayden's outfit. His son had really taken to football during their first visit to Texas when the boy was still a toddler. Some of his older cousins had been playing, and they had let him try throwing the ball around. As a toddler he had not had much luck with the ball that was too large for his hands, and being a rather shy child he had been content to just watch the other kids play.

Now, every time they made it over to Nick's parents home during the football season, Nick made sure to take Hayden to a game. Nick's dad had taken to coming with them, and Nick found they had managed to be on more agreeable terms than they had been since he had been a kid himself. In fact, since he had become a father, he had gotten a lot closer with most of his family. His sisters and mother offered him a lot of parenting advice, and he found himself making a lot more time for trips back home than he ever had before.

Hayden gave him a pleading look, and Nick nodded. "Sure, just let me get these cleared up," he said scooping up the registration forms he had been filling out for Hayden to begin kindergarten in the fall.

Both father and son were a little apprehensive about Hayden starting school. As he was still a very quiet child, Nick was not sure how well he would adjust to being in a class of thirty. It had taken Hayden quite awhile to get used to being around his cousins and, unlike at school, Nick had been there the entire time.

Hayden himself, was eager to learn, his dad had been teaching him to read and he liked it a lot, but he was not sure he wanted things to change. He liked everything the way it was, but he knew when school started he would have to sleep at night and be up during the day, and he was afraid he would not get to see as much of his dad. He was also scared of having to be at school all day without his father with him. Warrick and his dad had tried to assure him that he would make new friends in no time, and Hayden hoped they were right but he still was not sure he really wanted to go.

Nick left the papers on the front counter and headed for the door. Eagerly, Hayden scooped up the football and followed his dad. Together they walked the short distance to a nearby, Hayden running slightly ahead, but never very far from Nick.

Finding an empty area on the grass, Nick reminded his son of the proper way to hold the ball and how to release it. After a lot of practice, the five year old, was now able to throw the ball, with some wobble, and they had been working on correcting that. As soon as he was old enough, Nick would find him a local league to play in, like he had as a child.

They passed the ball back and forth for just over an hour. Nick stopping them periodically to give his son any pointers he could remember from his own playing days. He watched proudly as his son threw a ball that actually spiralled for the first portion of its flight.

"I did it Dad! Did you see that?" Hayden burst out excitedly.

"I sure did, you're doing great." Nick praised gently tossing the ball back.

After a few more passes, Nick took the ball and they headed back home. Hayden slipped his hand into Nick's as they walked. Still excited about his success, he grinned widely the whole way home. At his son's innocent happiness Nick could not help but smile too, both of them headed home, content to forget about everything else in the world, if just for that afternoon.


End file.
